The Typist

And In The End...

2009-05-19T13:34:00.000-07:00

Currently Listening To:
"Moth's Wings" by Passion Pit

So, I graduated this past Friday from Missouri State University with my Master's Degree in English. I decided to attend the ceremony because 1) I didn't go to my Bachelor's Degree ceremony and 2) I knew that my family and teachers would like to see me get called up as a Master's Candidate.

In terms of my experience of it, I could say the ceremony was pretty boring. I sat for 139 minutes and stood or walked for 3 minutes combined. I listened to two honorary Doctorates in Public Affairs give speeches, which I can't say was pleasant (one of them was the founder of PenMac; on that basis alone, her degree was a fraud). I had to wear a gown that looked fairly ridiculous, and the hood draped over my arm when our procession arrived in JQH Arena made me look like a butler.

It was what happened afterward that made it worthwhile, though. The first thing that happened was that I took some pictures with my friends from my degree program, which was nice. It felt pretty good to celebrate as a group and revel in the fact that we had graduated. I gave and got lots of hugs with them and promised to keep in touch with them, a promise I intend to keep. The second thing happened when I found my family again after photos with my friends: I discovered that my great-uncle Ches and great-aunt Sheila had made a surprise appearance at the ceremony and sat with my family all along. I didn't know they would be there, so it was great to find out that they came out to support me. The third thing, which is probably going to sound either really sentimental or really sweet, was when I found out that my mom started tearing up really badly when they called my name. She was so overcome with emotion that she couldn't hold her camera steady to take pictures of me on the Jumbotron. When she told me that, I couldn't help but feel a little twinge of emotion too.

Some other memorable elements of the occasion:

Getting an enthusiastic wave and smile from Dr. Weaver after we reached our seats on the arena floor.
Chuckling at the university band's smooth jazz rendition of "America the Beautiful."
Realizing that I had in fact once hit on the girl that was singing with the band.
Receiving a much bigger smattering of applause when my name was called than I expected.
Encountering some "surprise guests" on the procession out of the arena, namely some old friends and coworkers who I also didn't know were in attendance.

So, I'd say it was a pretty nice experience. I'm glad I did it.

Of course, I'm much happier about finishing school at Missouri State University. I've been there for six years as a student, a really long time. I'm happy to have gone there for many reasons, but right now I feel like it's time to move on. I'm ready to take a bit of a break from school and focus on other things while finding some kind of employment. I might actually have a job lined out at MSU's West Plains campus as an English instructor, actually. I get the impression from the staff there that there's a good chance I could work for them when the Fall semester rolls around. I've already notified MSU to send them my transcript when my degree is finalized sometime in early June, and I'm also supposed to visit Melton Hall sometime so I can meet a few of the people in the department (it's an informal visit, but I'll still conduct myself professionally). In addition to all of this, of course, I'm going to be enjoying my summer in a variety of ways: reading and writing, exercising, working on my car, etc.

My congrats to everyone who has graduated from Missouri State. I hope everyone has a great summer and does well in whatever they choose to do from this point forward. Enjoy your summer, everyone.

In Good Faith

2009-05-10T13:02:00.000-07:00

Currently Listening to:

"Information" by dredg

I don't want to do a big, sentimental, poignant recounting of my life in the MA program at Missouri State, not yet anyway. It would be natural for me to do something like that, and I have been thinking about the last two years, taking stock of my experiences and lessons, but in truth I'm too wrapped up in the more forthright demands I have to satisfy, like the final exam for my ENG 541 class and wrapping up my duties for my ENG 215 class. Once those are done, then I'll probably offer some kind of retrospective.

For now, I wanted to write about something that's been bugging me a bit, particularly in how to deal with it: declarations of religious belief in creative writing classes. This isn't something that comes up very often, but for whatever reason I've been encountering these instances in my ENG 215 class a lot this semester. It seems like my class this semester is more uniform in their beliefs than previous classes, and that uniform tends to skew towards political and religious conservatism.

Where these declarations of religious belief are coming out are in the short stories my students write, as well as their critiques. In their critiques, they'll say things like "I liked this story because I like how the main character trusted in God, it was a good moral," regardless of how well that device functioned in the story. In their stories, they'll rely on points in the plot and character choices where faith in God plays a massive defining role. In most of these instances, a character is faced with a string of unfortunate incidents and the choice they make in the face of these incidents is to sit back and have faith in God because He's in control and they're not. You can probably guess what my reaction to these choices on students' parts is: I'm not impressed, and I'm actually kinda worried, but not for the reasons that you might suspect.

I'll be upfront right now: I'm not what you would call a religious person. My personal history with religion is long and twisty, and revealing it would railroad this post; if you're really interested, just ask me. I'm very interested in religion as a scholar and thinker, and I like to study it, but I can also say that I tend to look at religion with an objective, skeptical viewpoint. So, it would be easy to conclude that I bristle at my students' choices in their stories because I don't agree with their views. In all honesty, though, that's not the reason. While I myself am frequently skeptical, I don't immediately discount any person because of their religion; it just depends on how they use it and represent it. I frequently disparage fundamentalists and evangelicals, but that's because of what I perceive as hypocrisy, anti-intellectualism, and tactlessness on the part of some key individuals. I am always willing to find exceptions as well.

Basically, it's not the fact that my students are declaring their views in their stories and critiques that puzzles me. It's the fact that my students are doing so in ignorance of what makes for good writing. It's the use of a character that submits to God and releases personal responsibility that especially catches my eye. Here's the reason: when a character does that in a story, they become a passive character as opposed to an active one. In order to give a story narrative momentum, the protagonist needs to be active in some regard; otherwise, the story just sits there. Stuff happens, but it doesn't feel significant. I can see why students do this: because it's what their faith leaders tell them they should do, and so their characters do what the students would do or want to do. Unfortunately, this is one of those instances where fiction differs from real life. It's perfectly fine if someone wants to relinquish control of their life to a higher power in real life because they're trying to find the happiest way to live their life; they don't have any readers to impress. However, in fiction this kind of life choice effectively makes a character boring and static.

The thing is that religious subject matter can be used effectively in fiction. There are hundreds of examples of good writing that incorporate religious belief in a manner that isn't immediately critical or skeptical. Even when someone comes to a faith that they love and believe in, the road to that faith, or even the maintenance of it, can often be tumultuous and conflicted, and as we all know conflict is the pulse of fiction. I understand that one of the main goals for many religious systems of belief is the extinction of conflict, a desire to not have to struggle. That seems contradictory when placed in conjunction with fiction, where struggles and conflicts are so vital, but in truth it's all in how it's handled.

One Step Closer

2009-04-25T14:46:00.000-07:00

Currently Listening To:
"Daniel" by Bat For Lashes

I've been thinking about getting a Twitter account, but I'm not sure if I need it or could use it. If anyone can tell me the beneficial aspects of having a Twitter account, please do. Right now, it feels like one of those situations where I'm one of the only people not doing the new thing, and I want to make sure there's more to it than being the next internet fad. I also want to make sure that this won't make me more of an internet narcissist, or that people would actually follow my Tweets (that's what they're called, right?). I figure it would be pretty useless to get a Twitter account if no one followed it.

So, big news: I finished my thesis and turned it in to the Graduate College this past Thursday. It's been in finished form, content-wise, for a week so far, but I had to make sure that all of my formatting requirements were fulfilled. The people at the Graduate College that evaluate the theses (that's the plural, right?) have all of these ridiculous requirements concerning margins, page number orientation, and other things. Still, the most important thing right now is that it's turned in, with my committee's signatures. Even if I have to make changes to the formatting later (and I probably will, since it seems like they have to find something in each thesis just for the sake of the job), I no longer have to worry about it.

This, of course, frees me up for other things:

Writing my research project for my Renaissance Lit. class
Grading my students' stories in a timely manner
Trying to find a job (hurray...)
Doing research on MFA and PhD programs

The job search is a bit discouraging, for me anyway. I've applied to MSU-West Plains as an all-purpose instructor for English classes, and I suppose I could substitute teach if I needed to (I'd rather not; I don't want to teach high school). I've told the English Department here at MSU in Springfield that I'd love to teach classes in the fall and spring, if possible. I'm also looking at applying for jobs at two other community colleges, East Central College-Rolla Branch and North Seattle Community College. I'll probably keep an eye out for other colleges to apply to in the next few days.

I'm worried about whether all of this is going to work out. I don't know if I'll even get a job at any of the schools I send appliations and letters to. If I don't get a job teaching, then I'll just have to get a job somewhere else, but it would feel like a waste because I wouldn't be using my training and degree in a relevant manner. I don't want to think that my BA and MA have been for nothing. I've looked at listings for positions like an assistant manager position at a Toys R' Us or customer service at T-Mobile, and I know that they'd pay well, but I'd be going down a completely different career path than I'd want to. It's just hard not to think about this stuff. I'd rather worry about finally getting my degree, but I can't help but worry about what I'll do after that.

Tears For Fears

2009-04-15T18:10:00.000-07:00

Currently Listening To:

"Skeleton Boy" by Friendly Fires

So, one of my students cried in class yesterday. It was just about as awkward as you'd expect it to be. I've never actually had this happen to me before, as a teacher or student. I've heard stories about people crying in creative writing classes when their stories are given very harsh critiques, but I'd never seen it happen firsthand until yesterday.

To be fair, though, I don't think it was the critique of her story that made her cry. I was actually worried that such a thing would happen though. Here's the story: this girl, who we'll call Betty, turned in this story that was about these two girls going to visit their best friend in the hospital because their friend is about to give birth. However, there is a sudden tragic downturn and their friend becomes stricken with the late stage of an illness which causes her to die shortly after giving birth to her son. Now, the story itself wasn't particularly well-written. It wasn't profoundly bad by any means, but it certainly had some areas in need of improvement.

Now, when I got to the end of the story, after I had finished compiling what needed to be revised for the story, I discovered that the author had typed out a dedication in huge bold letters on the last page: "In loving memory of my friend [name withheld] [DOB-DOD]" This, of course, made me freak out. I was afraid that any negative comments would be taken as a commentary on her friend, as opposed to a commentary on the story itself. I was also afraid that other people in the class would be discouraged from making critical comments because of the author's acknowledgement of the source material.

Interestingly, that didn't happen. Yes, there were some people who automatically praised it as inspiring and beautiful because of her intentions for the story (in form, it was actually very depressing, and understandably so), but there were others who offered her genuine, honest feedback on it as a work of fiction, which pleased me. Even more, they were very respectful, and she took the feedback in stride, which also pleased me.

Things took a turn with the critique of the next story, which was also about a dying loved one in the presence of family and friends. It was more upbeat than Betty's story, but it was still similar in subject matter. Well, Betty was the first to offer feedback on this girl's story, and she started to talk about how authentic the story was in its portrayal of a dying family member. What happened, though, was that she started to break into tears mid-sentence and was soon fighting back tears, red-faced.

I felt so bad for her; I could tell that it was the act of recalling the death of her friend in the context of two stories about such a topic that made her upset, and I could tell that she was also kinda embarrassed about crying in class. I couldn't really do anything for a few seconds or so because, well, I didn't know what to do.

What I wound up doing was waiting until she was done talking, because I didn't want to interrupt her, and then I quietly asked her if she wanted to step out in the hall for a little while to gather herself. She declined, and I just carried on with class, elucidating on one of the points she was able to make and then moving on to other points for discussion, giving her some time to calm down. I think it was the right thing to do. It seemed to work; any awkwardness was quickly dispelled and she was her regular self again by the end of class.

I'm probably going to remember this for awhile. It's just one of those moments that feels like a baptism by fire for a teacher. It's like having your first troublemaker, or your first learning disabled student; it's a moment where you find yourself having to adapt and learn new things in order to manage the class and help your students effectively. For me, the moment reminded me that one of the most vital characteristics for any teacher to have is compassion. It's just as important as sternness or adaptability, maybe even more so.

Comic Crazy

2009-04-06T22:35:00.000-07:00

Currently Listening To:

"Jetstream" by Doves

I've been preoccupied with comic books lately. This isn't much of a change from my usual attitude towards comics, since I've adored them from the time I first encountered them as a wee lad (I'd peg that at about five years old, for a translation of terms). However, lately I've had this nearly all-encompassing desire to get my hands on comics that I've been dying to read and devour them: Fables, Y: The Last Man, Astro City, Doom Patrol, The Sandman, Animal Man, Ex Machina, Transmetropolitan, anything I can find with Batman, etc.

I've also had a very strong compulsion to write comic books. That compulsion is actually getting stronger by the week, it seems. I find myself wanting to jump into ongoing titles and write new story arcs or put out creator-owned-and-controlled comics of my own design. As of late, I've been considering making graphic adaptations of some of my short stories. I realized I wanted to do this when I thought about the visual elements of some of my stories. Some of them would work better than others, of course. As I've previously indicated, I want to draw them myself. I've bought some books by Scott McCloud, Understanding Comics and Making Comics, as a way for me to get back into the study of the form of comics. So far they've been interesting and very handy, from what I've been able to read in between all of the necessary stuff of being a graduate teaching assistant. I still want to try and work on some of my longer-gestating projects during the summer, but I may just turn to my comic projects if I feel like I have to or if I encounter some rough spots in my other projects and need a break.

In a vaguely related topic, today I sent a manuscript of my superhero story, which I've called "Whatever Happened to Jupiter?", to Asimov's Science Fiction. I also sent a copy of "The Whip and the Mule" to the Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction. I'm hoping that the respective editors and audiences at those magazines find my stories worth buying. I was initially planning on sending "WHTJ?" to F&SF and "TWATM" to Asimov's, but I decided to reverse that after I took a longer look at their desired submissions. I learned that Asimov's wasn't averse to fantasy as long as it wasn't Sword and Sorcery (thank God I don't write that; if I did, I'd have to subvert it somehow). I also seemed like they liked stories that had a fairly wide scope, an advantage that "WHTJ?" certainly has over "TWATM." Meanwhile, F&SF said that they didn't get nearly enough science fiction, so I thought I might have a better chance with "TWATM." Wish me luck!

You know, I actually wrote "WHTJ?" as an attempt to partially satiate my desire to write for and about comics. It's had the opposite effect, though. I think that's why I'm comic crazy right now. I've been seriously entertaining writing a suite of stories about superheroes, as many as I can think of. I'd love to pump out five or six more stories. Heck, I wonder if I could make a collection of nothing but superhero stories. Themed collections have been done before; Robert Olen Butler once wrote a collection of stories inspired by tabloid headlines. Why couldn't I get a collection of nine superhero stories or so together? It'd be worth a shot, if I weren't already looking at a tall stack of "want-to-do" projects. I'd gladly entertain any ideas, as writing exercises. It could be fun.

Lately, I've also been thinking about something else comic-related. I'm a firm believer that there's three predominant kinds of people: Superman people, Batman people, and Spider Man people. The vast majority of people on the planet that have been exposed to comics (and at this point, who hasn't?) can be classified by one of these three categories. I actually think that this is a better means of determining overall personality type and personal philosophy than most clinically reinforced tests. You know it when you encounter Superman people, for instance. They just have certain identifying features that mark them, just like Batman people and Spider Man people. For instance, after a few minutes with my brother you can understand why he's a Spider Man person; you can just feel it.

As for me, I'm sure you can guess based on my prior comments, and the fact that I've written about my favorite superhero quite often here. I actually wonder what it says about me as a person that I'm a Batman person. Am I dark and mysterious? Have I been exposed to personal tragedy and misfortune and seek to sublimate it through social action? Am I a borderline fascist? I think I'm going to have to develop some kind of comprehensive psychological theory about all of this soon.

We Don't Need No Steenkin' Grade Inflation

2009-04-04T20:07:00.000-07:00

Currently Listening To:

"Kids" by MGMT

There's been a lot of talk about grade inflation lately in the department. It started about a month ago, I suppose, with the revelation that the average GPA for English classes was 3.34 or something along those lines. Granted, that is a little high, but there's all sorts of questions and examinations that need to be carried out after that as a way of figuring out what the figure really means: how much of that is upper and lower level classes? Which classes? Etc. One of the biggest running threads in this entire debate is that this is all the GTAs' fault, apparently. That hasn't been stated outright, but it's been implied pretty heavily. I'm always a little wary of blaming us GTAs for things; I'm aware that we're little more than slave labor, and we're teaching the classes that no one else wants to teach, but we still set standards for ourselves.

A new development has come about: the GPA for the 110 courses has dropped significantly, which the higher-ups have taken as a sign of tougher grading standards, therefore pleasing the university and their concerns about grade inflation. Of course, others could interpret this as meaning that students have become less-successful about writing, but that's not the point here. The point is reading between the lines: the high GPAs are coming from creative writing classes. I fully expect to hear all about grade inflation in creative writing at least a few times between now and the end of the semester, most likely in our end-of-semester meeting about ENG 215. What's kinda funny about all of this is that we were encouraged to go a little easier in our grading scales so that people who weren't as good at creative writing could still succeed in the class. I might be hearing a different tune soon enough.

Here's my solution to solving the grade inflation problem in English classes in general: don't let students write workshop drafts, or don't give feedback on workshop drafts as a teacher. Let them fend for themselves from classmate feedback, lectures, and readings. That's what all of the other university classes do: political science, history, math, chemistry, etc. When you turn in a paper, that's it, no excuses or second chances.

How does that sound? If you have a massive problem with it, chances are strong that you're an English teacher. My suggestion would be shortsighted at best and offensive at worst to the vast majority of English teachers, who are heavy into process pedagogy and showing students the errors of their ways so they can succeed in future classes. Because students in English classes learn upfront about their strengths and weaknesses and get good instruction about augmenting them, it's not uncommon for them to succeed in basic English classes. What if grades are so high because students are actually learning? I won't rule out that sometimes teachers can be softies, but no teacher wants to have a reputation for being a pushover. Trust me on that.

As for the creative writing classes, it may simply be a case of getting tougher on students. I've mentioned that we're kinda advised to go easy on our students for a number of reasons: it's a 200-level class, they're mostly first-timers, you either get creative writing or you don't, etc. Obviously, all of these assumptions can be brushed away: 200-level classes are supposed to be more difficult than 100-level, their status as first-timers doesn't get them any benefits in any other university classes, if creative writing can be taught then it can be learned, etc. So we could go tougher on our students, I think. I know that I've been making an effort lately to be more discriminating in my judgments in my creative writing class. At the same time, though, I've tried to do it fairly and honestly. I don't want to be in a situation where I give a B-level student a C because I need to be giving more Cs. That's just not going to happen.

Also, how will such a change in grading practice affect recruitment efforts for the creative writing major/minor and for the English department in general? It's no lie to say that the English department is starving for cash; it needs every student it can get its hands on. Chances are strong that any overt effort to significantly lower the collective GPA of our students will also result in a loss of retention of students in English classes overall.

Ultimately, I'm not writing off the statements about grade inflation as truth or falsehood. At the same time, I want any decision that's made in response to this situation to be made after a long, thoughtful period of deliberation, recognizing all of the tricky jagged edges that must be considered or navigated around. My biggest fear in this regard, and sadly its a very probable one considering the university I work at (the implementation of the Banner System, for one; it's an absolute joke), is that a snap decision will be made in a gung-ho spirit that causes more problems than solutions.

So What?

2009-03-17T11:34:00.001-07:00

Currently Listening To:
"Breathe" by U2

I'm getting tired of hearing the world "real" being used as a slang word. I didn't realize how much I hated this until I watched VH1 reality shows over the weekend (Rock of Love Bus, Tool Academy, and For The Love Of Ray J primarily; it's a guilty pleasure, I'll admit it). It's always something like "I'm really real, ya know?" or "You ain't real" or even "I don't think what you guys have got goin' on is real, okay?" I've noticed that the people that describe themselves as "real," on TV or in actual life (I almost used the word "real" there), usually have no concept of what that word actually means, except that it's an antonym for "faker" or "hater." They also tend not to be "real" either, since they're trying to act "real." If you're really "real," you probably wouldn't have to act it or tell everybody that you're "real." Just some common sense there. Bottom line, I kinda feel like smacking anyone who even uses the word that way. Sounds uncooth, I know, but it's a reflex.

Sorry if that seemed like a fairly frivolous topic. The truth is that after comps and the onset of a massive dilemma for my university's English department, that all-important discussion of grade inflation, I wanted to write about something comparably silly. I'll probably weigh in on the grade inflation issue later, but I don't feel like doing it right now.

And now for something completely different. I think I'm going to bring out an important point of discussion for my creative writing class sometime either this week (most likely today, since we'll have time for it) or the week after Spring Break. It's a concept I've adapted from Marcus Cafagna and how he teaches his ENG 303 class (Intermediate Poetry, for those not in the know). He has this concept called the "So What Poem." Essentially, they're poems that may be very well-written (or not), and may be poems, but beyond that there isn't any real reason why they had to be written. The concept is named after the feeling someone gets when they read such a poem: "Yeah, it's interesting, but so what? Why should I care about this poem?" A lot of the time, these poems feel like nothing more than vanity pieces and conceptual exercises, or operate on a solely superficial level, not really entertaining deeper study of character, theme, or other things. They might also be called "Who Cares Poems."

As you might guess, I'll be adapting this into the concept of the "So What Story." These kinds of stories are, sadly, fairly common, especially in introductory writing classes where students may not yet be thinking of deeper engagement in characters or themes. For instance, one student might say, "Hey, I'll write a story about a baseball game because I love baseball and used to play it." That in itself is not a bad thing, especially if that experience is used to optimal effect. However, there needs to be something beyond the game to make readers care about the game and the story and the people and things in it. Otherwise, you wind up with a reaction like this: "The description of the game was handled pretty well, and I could visualize it, but so what? Why should I care about the story? It's just a story about a baseball game." It's up to the author to make sure that their story is not "just" anything.

Hopefully, all of that makes sense. If I try out my lecture anytime soon, I'll clue everybody in about how it goes. If anybody has any suggestions about how I could utilize this concept and communicate it to my students, or if anyone has any considerations I may not have kept in mind for this, let me know.

Post-MFA Search Impressions

2009-03-14T13:28:00.000-07:00

Currently Listening To:

"Panic Switch" by Silversun Pickups

Well, comps are over now. I took 'em this morning. I actually wound up with the comp questions that I was most prepared for, which was a great relief on my question about early British literature. I probably could've answered any of the comp questions for form and theory of prose without much trouble, but I still liked the one I wound up with. Now it's just a matter of waiting for two weeks or so to find out if I passed them. I feel like I did alright on them. I don't think I gave a reason to not pass me, if that makes sense.

Now that all of the MFA programs I applied to have turned me down, I suppose that my search is over for now. It'll be awhile before I can resume the cycle again with new schools. I'm not going to apply to any of the schools I applied to this time in future cycles, except perhaps Washington University. I have some general impressions of the process in general:

1. The first few rejections are the worst. For me, getting rejected by Kansas and Wash U really took a lot of spirit out of me because I thought those might be the most likely places I'd get in. Beyond that, though, they were the first rejections I'd ever gotten from a grad school, or a school in general, so they hurt. The rejections after those were much easier to take.

2. I think MFA programs could be more transparent in their decision making. For all of the schools, I got form letters, nothing more (I haven't gotten a letter from Texas yet, but I'm sure it will be a form letter). It would have been nice to get some kind of feedback on why I wasn't successful. Now, I understand that schools go through a lot of submissions, hundreds of them, and it would be hard to provide unique feedback for everyone. At the same time, I think it's important to provide some kind of feedback beyond the rejection itself and the typical "there were too few spots for too many talented etc." For instance, for someone like myself who doesn't write the typical fiction you'd find in a writing program, was I rejected because my writing wasn't good enough, or was I rejected because of what I write about? Something like that is important to know. I also wonder if they don't give more specialized feedback because even they don't know precisely why they choose who they do for acceptance or rejection.

3. I'll be glad not to worry about the search for awhile. I'll need the months from now until the fall to worry about other things and continue writing. The MFA search process is composed of two parts: 1) the applications and 2) the waiting. Both are stressful for their own reasons. I've already discussed how stressful the waiting is, but it's important to remember how much of a pain the applications are as well. It takes forever to get all of the necessary materials in place, it's easy to forget things, and it's really damn expensive (the applications for the six schools cost around $300 total, maybe a little less than that). Like I said, it'll be nice, not worrying about it.

I do have one application I'll be trying to send out in the next few months, though, for the Stonecoast MFA program. They have a twice-yearly application cycle (I'm not sure why; maybe it's because it's a low-residency program), so I'm planning on sending my application out in either early August or late July. Luckily, that's only one, and I haven't seen any more programs that I'm just dying to apply to yet. Stonecoast is the one I'm really excited about. I may try Columbia, since they've got some prior graduates who also write fiction that plays with genre, but from what I understand the funding sucks there, and I'm not about to go into debt.

For now, I'm just going to finish my thesis, finish my big assignments for ENG 541, continue to do my job in my last semester as a GTA at Missouri State, and send out applications for jobs at junior and community colleges. I'm thinking about applying at the MSU-West Plains campus; my dad already works for them as a bowling instructor in addition to his duties in running the bowling alley (if I've forgotten to mention it, my dad runs a bowling alley; my family also lives in it). I'll probably also apply to Drury and OTC, just to see if there's any bites. I guess things are wide open for me at this point, for the first time in a really long time. It feels weird.

Yep, More Bad News

2009-03-13T14:50:00.000-07:00

Indiana said no. I got their letter in the mail today. Oddly enough, this one doesn't sting. I don't know if it's because I'm feeling fatalistic or because I'm currently worried about comps.

I have some overall impressions of this whole MFA search process that I'll reveal later. Right now, though, I've got more immediate things to worry about, so that'll probably have to wait.

Still, the final count: 0 for 6.

Again, More Bad News

2009-03-05T11:17:00.000-08:00

Iowa said no. I got a letter from them this afternoon and took it with me to the office, where I opened it and read it. That was a bad move. Now I'm bummed out and not in any mood whatsoever to teach my class in forty minutes.

I'll have to start looking for jobs after comps are over, when I've got some breathing room and free time. I sincerely doubt Indiana, the only program I've yet to hear from, will tender me an offer to join their program, so I'm expecting that I'll need to get a "real" job in the next few months. Sadly, I don't think I'll be able to get a job teaching. From what I understand, the English department at Missouri State isn't going to be hiring per course instructors for some time due to the budget crunch. I wouldn't mind applying for a job at OTC or College of the Ozarks teaching writing, but the employment pool will probably be a lot bigger since all of the Missouri State per course faculty have been axed.

Then again, I don't know if I'll be able to get a job in any other profession besides teaching. It's times like these that I become anxious about the fact that I'm working on a Master's in English. I don't know how many "regular" jobs would consider that adequate experience or preparation. I'd like to work at a newspaper or press agency, like the Springfield News Leader, but I feel like they'd probably rather have somebody with a journalism degree. I just get the sinking feeling that I'm going to be stuck in a hard place for a while. If anyone has any ideas for where I could seek gainful employment beyond terrible retail and service jobs, let me know.

I did find an MFA program that I'd like to apply to sometime later, though. It's called the Stonecoast MFA program. It's a low residency program at a university in southern Maine. What I like about it is how it has an amazing faculty (you can't get much better, as a genre nerd, than Kelly Link and James Patrick Kelly as teachers) and, most importantly, it has a program for popular fiction, aka sf, fantasy, horror, magic realism, etc. That would be perfect for me, I think. If I'd known more about it at the start, I would have sent an application there as well. As it is now, it's too late for me to apply for the next semester there, but I could wait until September for their next application date (the hard part would be finding funding). Even so, it's a low residency program, which means I'd still need to get a job in the meantime.

I'm actually wondering if the reason why I didn't get accepted at most of the colleges I applied to is because I write what could be termed "popular fiction." I write stories that treat plot just as importantly as character; I don't have what could be called a "character-centered" outlook on fiction (I'd say it's more "idea-centered"); my stories frequently have elements of speculative fiction; I tend to avoid mainstream realism for the most part in my writing; and, ultimately, I see myself as more of a storyteller than a writer. Then again, I may just be a bad writer. God, that would suck.

Still More Bad News

2009-03-03T23:52:00.000-08:00

Texas said no. I checked their online application system a few minutes ago to see if it had been updated and it said that my application had been denied. I'll probably be getting a letter from them sometime this week about it, but there won't be any suspense involved, just a formality. That's four rejections out of six applications now. I need a miracle.

Yet More Bad News

2009-03-02T12:26:00.000-08:00

Michigan said no. Like the others, I got the letter after I came home from work. This one doesn't sting as much as the first two did for some reason. It's not that I didn't want to go to Michigan, I think; it's a killer program. I think it's just because this is the third rejection out of six applications so far, so by nature it's not going to hurt as much as the first two. I worry about the fact I'm starting to become desensitized towards this. I suppose that's a good thing; I can't be getting miserable and depressed every time I get a rejection for something, whether it's publication or an MFA program. Still, I don't like the idea of getting used to rejection.

More Bad News

2009-02-25T11:50:00.001-08:00

Washington University said no. I got the letter from them this afternoon. I'm really bummed about this one because it was a program that I was very enthusiastic about. I'm feeling really dejected. I've been able to focus on other stuff to take my mind off things, but it's still hard not to feel it. What's also bad is that I felt like I had a better shot at Wash U than the other programs; it had the smallest applicant pool of all the programs I applied to. It really hurts because it makes me wonder: if I couldn't distinguish myself in a smaller group of applicants, how the hell am I going to catch a break at a program like Iowa, which has over a thousand applicants? I'm trying not to think about it, but at the same time it's really sapping any semblance of optimism out of me.

Last-Semester-Of-Master's-Degree-Itis

2009-02-21T19:49:00.000-08:00

Currently Listening To:

"Life in Technicolor ii" by Coldplay

Well, as of right now I'm 1/3 complete in terms of studying for my comps. I basically tackled the two easiest questions to answer, one about the treatment of female characters in early British literature and another one about the influence of POV on fiction. The remaining questions won't be too bad. I'll just need to dedicate myself to the time needed to sit down and write them out. I'll also need to review some of the stories I plan on writing about, which will be a bit of a pain when I reread the plays and epic poems for early British literature. It's still a little while before comps come on March 14, but I know that if I'm not careful they'll sneak up on me. I've just reached the point where I don't want to do anything right now, honestly. It's hard for me to do anything anymore unless I sit myself down and force myself to do it, especially if it's school related.

I remember people talking about senioritis and how bad it is back when I was still an undergraduate. At the time, I didn't suffer from senioritis too badly. I think a big reason for this was because I knew I'd be going through a Master's program immediately after that. However, now that I've got this semester remaining until I graduate with a Master's Degree (hopefully; it depends on me passing comps and my thesis), I am feeling it really badly. I just have this overarching need to do absolutely nothing academic in nature. I do feel the need to write, but that's severely dampened by the fact that I'm working on comps. Besides that, I just want to play video games and read comic books.

I probably won't be posting to this blog very often in the coming months. I'll be primarily working on my comps (I should be doing that right now, actually), but if I'm not doing that I'll be finalizing my thesis, doing homework for my Renaissance Literature class, or running the ENG 215 class that I teach. If I do update this blog, it'll probably be for news regarding my MFA search or the requirements for my degree. Other than that, I'll be focusing my energies on the stuff I need to do, at the expense of what I want to do.

Thinking In Future Tense

2009-02-14T15:10:00.001-08:00

Currently Listening To:

"Isis Unveiled" by ...And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead

I've been recuperating from the news from Kansas pretty well. I've already talked to some friends and professors about the MFA search process and gotten some good advice from them; Dr. Neumann told me about how you never know who's going to really fall for your writing on any given search committee, and The Wizard reminded me that if a program rejected me based on my writing, then it may not have been the best situation for me in the first place. There's a good truth in that, I think. Would I want to be in a program that didn't really want me there? Probably not. Still, like I said earlier I've got no sour grapes on Kansas. It's just part of the process.

I bought some new books this week. Now, before you say "Aren't you breaking your resolution from a few posts ago about not buying anything until you make sufficient progress through that mountain of unread books in your library?" know that there are special circumstances in play. Two of them, Aspects of the Novel by E.M. Forster and The Scribner Anthology of Short Fiction (not the exact title, but it's close), are necessary for my studies; the Forster book directly relates to one of my comp questions, while the Scribner book was recommended by Brian for some good models for my writing. Another book is Flight Vol. 1, which is an anthology of original comics by a variety of creators. It's kinda like a collection of illustrated short stories. It's mainly serving as a way for me to observe different artistic styles in motion and analyze the comic book medium in anticipation of my attempts to create my own comic later this year.

The fourth book, The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupery, is an exception because I've already read it. I actually checked it out from the library last week because, for whatever reason, I was stricken with an urge to read it again. It was wonderful, just as much as it was when I was a kid. It actually affected me more, reading it again as an adult. I knew that this was a book that I'd want to make a habit out of re-reading on a regular basis, so I went ahead and bought a copy. If any of you haven't read it yet, go out and get a copy immediately. You'll love it, and when you have families of your own (if you don't already) your kids will love it. It's one of the most insightful books I've ever read on topics like friendship and loss. It's also surprisingly complex for what most people regard it as: a children's book.

I'm getting a very strong itch to create lately, and it's causing me to stockpile potential projects like mad. I've already decided that over the summer I'm going to work on expanding one of my short stories into a novel-length project, regardless of whether I get into an MFA program or not (if I do, it could be a good thesis project; if not, it may serve as a means for getting an agent; who knows?). On top of that, though, I've also decided that I want to try and create my own comic book project, which will actually force me to start drawing again (I can draw, but I haven't done it in a while, hence the necessity for research into the medium of comics). I'm also considering the possibility of a fantasy series geared towards young adults and adults alike, as well as a children's book. Naturally, I would do my own illustrations.

All of this is moot for two reasons, though. One, I have to transition from thinking "I'm going to do this" into "I'm doing this" or "I've done this." I have a tendency to think in future tense, but I really shouldn't. Just because I say I'm going to do something doesn't mean it'll get done, unless I just do it and make it a present concern. Two, I can't make any of these projects present concerns because I've already got enough to begin with, the biggest being comps. I finally got my comp questions this past Monday. I'm okay with them, personally. I've already got a rough idea of what I'm going to do with them, and from now until March 14 I'll be re-reading texts and writing up rough drafts of the comps. Fun times, huh? Once that's done, I'll need to finish up my thesis, which I'd say I'm about 70% done with, and do all of my big projects for my only class this semester. In the midst of this, I need to fulfill my duties as a class instructor. So, yeah, I can't afford to think in the future tense at the moment. Still, I can't to finally make my novel/graphic work/children's book/fantasy series a present concern. It'll be a pleasant, welcome change.

Bad News

2009-02-09T11:48:00.000-08:00

Kansas said no. I got a letter from them in the mail earlier today. I did the routine where I held the letter up to a lamp to read the letter before I opened it and I saw "have been denied admission to the University of Kansas for the Fall 2009 semester." I opened it and read the rest. It was just a form letter explaining that the Department of English carefully reviewed my application and decided to turn me down. No hard feelings, of course. I'm just bummed.

Now, I'm asking myself why I didn't get selected. Were my stories not good enough? Were they not "literary" enough? Did my Personal Statement suck? Was my CV flawed? Who knows? The letter said that any questions I have about the decision to say no should be directed to the English Department, but I'm sure that's just a formality. Is it polite to call up an MFA program and ask them for specific reasons why your application was turned down? I don't know. Part of me wants closure, but part of me also thinks its best to just shrug it off and move on with other things. Besides that, though, I'm worried about something else. I'm worried about what the other programs I applied to will say. I don't want to start thinking "well, if Kansas turned me down then so and so will, etc.," but I can't help it.

I need to just find something else to focus my attention on and not let myself get depressed about this. Besides, just because my first letter from an MFA program was a rejection doesn't mean they'll all reject me. I don't know what they're all thinking. The whole point is that I won't know what they think until I get their letters, and it might be a while longer until then.

Counting Down

2009-02-07T16:18:00.000-08:00

Currently Listening To:

"It's Not Over Yet" by Klaxons

First off, a warm congratulations to my friend Ben Pfeiffer, who has a blog of his own called Write Well (http://www.benpfeiffer.net/blog/). He has recently been offered an invitation to join the MFA program at the University of Kansas. He informed me earlier this week. I couldn't be happier for him, quite honestly. Both of us had been pretty amped up and nervous about the prospect of joining an MFA program. With this invitation, he's basically guaranteed a spot in an MFA program somewhere. Now, for those of you that are familiar with how MFA programs tend to do things, this constitutes a REALLY early response time (most of them send out their letters and such in March, usually before or around Spring Break). We were both pretty astonished about the response time from KU. The way I interpreted it was that they must really want him there to get to him so early. At any rate, I'm really happy for him.

Naturally, the second thing I did after he told me (the first being my congratulations to him) was whip around in my chair and check my email as fast as my fingers would access it. I was immediately bummed to find that I hadn't received an email from KU yet (I also applied to the MFA program there; I thought it looked like a really good program with good support, and they have a massive center for science fiction research, so I could geek out pretty easily if I were a part of the program there). Now, I'll say that until that moment, I'd actually done a pretty good job of not worrying about responses from the MFA programs I applied to. I've found things to do and written new stories while working on old ones (more on that later). However, in the moment immediately after I finished congratulating Ben and checked my email, those worries came back with a vengeance. I started worrying about when KU would respond to me, which I suppose is a natural thing to think about in that instance. It just makes the countdown that much more prominent.

I'm not as worried now as I was earlier this week, thankfully. I reminded myself that the KU MFA program was a collection of professionals, and there was probably a perfectly rational reason I wouldn't have gotten an acceptance or rejection email/letter from them yet. One of my thesis readers also reassured me when I stopped by to chat with her earlier in the week (it was The Wizard, for those of you who automatically know who she is or remember me mentioning her in an earlier post). She reminded me of something that I'd forgotten: Ben had his materials sent off to his colleges much earlier than I did. All of his colleges had received his materials sometime in November (I think it was early November), while all of the colleges I applied to received mine in early December since I sent everything off the day before Thanksgiving Break. As a result, KU had his application materials in hand a full month before they had mine, and they're just processing the applications in the order received. It makes sense.

Basically, it all boils down to this: I have to be patient. I have to deal with the countdown. They'll get to me when they can. I just have to sit tight and work on other things, like I did before. It'll be a little tougher now that I now letters are beginning to trickle out and it's about a month before the typical time period for responses. Still, I just need to get wrapped up in my work and find something else to focus on. I do have quite a few things to focus on: the critical introduction for my thesis, revising my stories for my thesis, teaching my class, working at the Writing Center, and my Hamlet class will all hold my attention pretty well. That's not even counting the comp exams. The wait for my final comp questions is almost as bad as the wait for responses from MFA programs. Almost.

I also met with Brian Shawver, my thesis advisor, about my latest story. According to him, the perspective of the story, that collective first-person narrator I mentioned earlier, worked quite nicely for the most part. He agreed with me that it was a very different kind of story, for me and just in general (there simply aren't a lot of short stories about superheroes out there). However, the real reason he saw it as being experimental was the fact that it didn't really have a strong character in it. Basically, all of the characters are flat, or at the least their roundness isn't being revealed to the reader. This was something that hadn't even occurred to me when I wrote the story, so I'm glad I was alerted to this. There was something else I didn't realize when I wrote it: apparently, it can be read as an astonishingly point-by-point allegory for Jesus Christ, the apostles, the gospels, and even the apocrypha. It was just baffled by this. I was very aware that I was putting religious overtones in the story (that was kinda the point, really), but I wasn't being as specific as making everything tie back into Jesus. I thought I was being more generalized with it, basically. I did make use of terms like messiah, apocalypse, and Great Nemesis, but I was just appropriating basic religious concepts. I had no clue that the allegorical subtext of my story was that specific.

At the moment, I'm not sure what I want to do with it. I do want the surface of the story to function well, the idea of this superhero coming to this city and then leaving it behind, letting the citizens commiserate in his absence. At the same time, I like the fact that someone could get that specific about an interpretation of my story, especially since I didn't intend it (I'm probably just informed by my culture; that's the best explanation I can come up with). For now, I'm planning on waiting until I hear from The Wizard about the story. That way, I can combine the feedback from her and Brian and see if there's any avenues I can take that would benefit my story the most.

Mister Detective

2009-02-02T23:22:00.000-08:00

Currrently Listening To:

"I Got A Line On You" by The Spirit

Earlier this week, I was filling out one of those 25 Things memes going around on Facebook right now when I came to an interesting realization about myself. I wrote that if I wasn't able to teach writing and make a career out of writing (not that I've actually done the latter yet; it's still a personal goal, though), then I'd want to be a detective. For whatever reason, the occupation of a detective has always held a lot of interest for me. I think it's the investigative aspect of the work, the act of seeking truth, that does it. Also, the two fictional characters I respected the most growing up were detectives: Batman and Encyclopedia Brown, with Batman being my favorite (sorry Encyclopedia Brown).

I bring this up because I think that the aspects of detective work that I appreciate the most have also wound up surfacing in my fiction multiple times, namely the idea of seeking truth or the actual existence of truths, in the abstract and specific sense. I've written stories that hinge around suppressed, hidden, and misinterpreted truths. It's a pattern that I've never really noticed until I figured out how much I appreciated detective work. I'm sure that I'll be able to incorporate this into my critical introduction somehow, but for now I'm content to entertain fantasies of being a bestselling author and teacher who helps the local police department solve crimes.

Last week, my class finished up their Cliche Day activity, which I usually conduct every semester with my creative writing classes. I think the exercise is supposed to demonstrate the lack of "original" cliches (the crux of the activity is that the team with the highest amount of "original" cliches, aka cliches not written down by other groups, wins), but every time I'm just amazed at the sheer volume of cliches my students come up with. I also get to hear cliches that I didn't even know existed (I had to google a few of them, like "ass like an onion). As a nice endcap to the activity, I usually tell my students that it's now their duty to avoid the same cliches they just got done coming up with.

This time, however, it made me think about something else: the workshop format. I'm well aware of all the attention that the creative writing workshop has gotten in academia and elsewhere and the debate about its usefulness and all of that. However, this time I got to thinking about the existence of cliches in the workshop itself. In this context, I'm talking about platitudes and comments that may have been perceived as insightful years ago, but now seem like stock phrases uttered on cue (my least favorite is probably "Show, don't tell," a phrase I think has outlived its usefulness somewhat). Now, a lot of these cliches are treasured among writers as commandments sometimes. However, I think a lot of the time they wind up being "safe" comments we can retreat to without giving really in-depth, focused feedback.

Therefore, I think it's our duty as writers and critics to identify these cliches, identify why they no longer act as insightful critiques and advice, and alter or excise them with the goal of improving any workshops we're a part of. If we're going to ask our students to avoid cliches as writers and critics, then I think we need to do the same.

One of Poe's Children

2009-01-31T13:45:00.000-08:00

Currently Listening To:

"Courtship Dating" by Crystal Castles

I finished up my latest story this Wednesday. For those of you not living in Springfield, we got nailed with a winter storm that wound up shutting the university down for Tuesday and Wednesday, which gave me plenty of time to write my story (it also gave me plenty of time to slack off and watch Batman: The Animated Series on DVD). It took me about three days to write it, with twelve total hours (two on Monday, five on Tuesday and Wednesday).

This one wound up surprising me a bit. For one thing, it didn't turn out as much like "A Rose for Emily" as I thought it might. Naturally, it's nowhere close in subject matter (necrophilia vs. superheroes; I rest my case), but my use of an interrupted chronological structure and a first-person plural narrator wound up feeling less like a shameless theft and more like a logical choice for the story. Also, I had plenty of preconceived notions about superheroes going into this story and how I felt about how people relate to/obsess over them (I firmly believe that if superheroes were real, especially superpowered beings, the notion of personal responsibility would diminish tremendously), but the story wound up not really being about that. I think that's a good thing, ultimately, because it wound up being much less of a "message" story and more of an examination of this city's relationship with its superhero. I'll get it revised sometime tonight so I can send it in to my thesis readers on Monday or Tuesday. In the meantime, I'd like to write another new story. I'd love to stay on a roll, especially since I've never written stories back to back, but I need to find an idea I can sink my teeth into.

I've been thinking about the idea of creative "lineages" lately, mostly due to the fact that I need to write a critical introduction for my Master's Thesis where I explain, among other things, my personal aesthetic. I remember one of my teachers telling me when I was just an undergraduate that all American writers stem from one of three "ancestors": Walt Whitman, Emily Dickenson, and Edgar Allen Poe (it's probably an indication of his bias as a reader that Poe was the only prose writer out of those three). At the time, I immediately said that Poe was my ancestor, and I suppose that even now I would say that he's the oldest writer in my own lineage, especially in the early stages of my writing. A lot of people don't know this, but when I was just getting started writing stories and being serious about it during my freshman year of college, I wanted to be a great horror writer. As a result, I idolized Stephen King, H.P. Lovecraft and Edgar Allen Poe. I don't read them all too much anymore (I don't read much of what I want to anymore, though, due to grad school), but I still hold fond memories of all of them, especially Lovecraft and Poe.

I know that, as part of the required explanation of my personal aesthetic, I'll need to discuss the writing of those that have inspired me, and I'm sure that Lovecraft and Poe will get their due in that regard alongside writers like Jorge Luis Borges, Philip K. Dick, Harlan Ellison, Franz Kafka, Jeff Vandermeer, and Alan Moore. At the same time, though, I don't know how fruitful such discussion and outlining of my "family tree" will do for me because I don't really write like any of them. Furthermore, sometimes I feel like I'm somehow inferior because I don't claim Flannery O'Connor, Anton Chekhov, John Updike, Raymond Carver, Ernest Hemingway, or any of the other "legends" of writing as my ancestors (I do enjoy O'Connor's writing though; I've never read Updike). Poe and Borges are probably the most "legendary" out of my main influences. I don't regret admiring the writers that I admire, make no mistake; I would defend Ellison's writing much sooner than I would defend Carver's or Hemingway's. Still, I wonder if my lineage puts me at a disadvantage in certain ways compared to other writers, especially in an academic setting. Ah well.

I was on FoxSports.com earlier today to get the latest news about the Super Bowl before it kicks off tomorrow, and I wound up running across an op ed by one of their in-house columnists. The article was decent enough, but I found myself never wanting to read it again after I ran across the comments page at the bottom of the article. Homophobia, anti-religious sentiment, anti-athiest sentiment, typical bullying, anti-intellectualism: it was all there, among other undesirable elements.

I think I've come to a decision about my least favorite part of the internet: comment/message boards on websites. I'm sure the websites had good intentions when they set these up: "Hey readers, let us know what you think about our articles! Let your voice be heard!" Now, I'm all for freedom of speech and democracy, and like I said I'm sure these websites had good intentions (I also think they're trying to make themselves more attractive to consumers in an age where everybody's got an opinion and, in most cases, enough internet access to give it some form of output). However, these things are usually the worst parts of websites, since they tend to devolve into numbskulled, insensitive, classless arguments or insults. It's too easy to make a statement about something in one of these forums, only to have some jackass come across saying "YOU'RE A F***ING MORON! GO STEELERS WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" Way to go, buddy.

I suppose I'll end my post by asking anyone reading this to let me know what they think about this trend (and yes, I realize the irony of asking you to leave a comment on my blog after writing about how stupid comment pages are most of the time). Personally, I think these forums wouldn't be bad at all if people just conducted themselves with more class and respect. Also, I'm rooting for the Cardinals to win the Super Bowl. The reasons? I have a tendency to root for underdogs, I like the Cardinals' story this season, and I want to see Kurt Warner win another Super Bowl before his career's over. I don't hate the Steelers or anything; in fact, I'm amazed at their defense. Still, I want the Cardinals to win. There, see? It's not that hard.

Talking Dogs and Superheroes

2009-01-25T22:50:00.000-08:00

Currently Listening To:

"Spaceman" by The Killers

Last Tuesday, I gave my creative writing class their first actual writing prompt (their first exercise was just a topoi that got them thinking about writing in general). Here's the prompt, taken from Writing Fiction by Janet Burroway and Elizabeth Stuckey-French:

One way to test your skill in the use of concrete, significant detail is to create a reality that is convincing - and yet literally impossible. Draft a . . . story in which a single impossible event happens in the everyday world. First, focus on using detail to create the reality of both the normal world and the impossible event - the more believable the reality is, the more seamlessly readers will accept the magic.

Regardless of the truth of her last statement (I think the acceptance on readers' parts of fantastical elements is as reliant on characters' attitudes as it is on significant detail), I still thought it would be a good opportunity for my students to let their imaginations roam and come up with some inspired ideas. I also thought it would be a good way for them to work with significant detail in their writing.

In general, they didn't completely follow the directions, which ultimately doesn't surprise me, especially since this is their first time and they're inexperienced. There were a lot of people, though, that disregarded the element of reality and just went balls-out fantasy from the beginning, which is still not what I asked (the examples I gave were things like a secret message appearing in someone's pizza or a woman hearing a radio announcer using an ex-husband's voice, things like that; basically, instances of fantasy intruding into reality). Also, it seems that the majority of my students see the definition of fantasy this way:

FANTASY = FAIRY TALES

Which is false, of course. The equation is more like this:

FANTASY > FAIRY TALES

Since fantasy encompasses much more than fairy tales (although I'm glad they didn't automatically associate it with Swords and Sorcery; that's what usually happens). Anyway, I bring up this equation because a lot of the exercises incorporated things like fairies, talking bunnies, and trips to magical topsy-turvy worlds.

As I reviewed my students' exercises, though, I noticed something bizarre: half of them involved sentient, talking animals. I never realized what a cliche the device of a talking animal was until I read ten exercises involving them. What's more, six of them involved talking dogs. They were all fairly similar too; the guys' exercises had absurd punchlines, the girls' were Disney sweet. I don't know what it is about the trope of a talking dog (or animal, for that matter) that made so many of my students flock to it. Maybe it's that childlike desire of wanting to be able to talk to the family pet (I'll admit to wanting to talk to the family dogs when I was younger), or maybe it's the fact that Family Guy and American Dad are popular shows with college students (featuring a talking dog and goldfish, respectively).

Whatever the case may be, I'm now thoroughly desensitized to the trope of talking dogs or animals of any kind. I'm actually desensitized to the point that come this Tuesday, I'm going to have a discussion with my students where I encourage them to lay off the talking dogs for the rest of the semester. I never thought I would have to have such a talk with my students, but then again I wasn't expecting to get ten talking animals out of twenty exercises. It's going to be a mildly absurd discussion, I think.

In terms of my own writing, I'm moving ahead with my superhero story. Besides being my first attempt at writing a story with a superhero as a main character (from what I understand, not many people write about superheroes to begin with), it's also my first genuine attempt at nonlinear storytelling. I was originally encouraged in this endeavor by my admiration for Harlan Ellison's story "The Deathbird," which is a flawless execution of nonlinear, fragmented storytelling (if you haven't read it, you need to, even if you don't like sci-fi). However, I'm realizing that the structure and presentation of my story is closer to another classic story: "A Rose For Emily" by William Faulkner. It just dawned on me tonight as I was writing my story, due to the role the superhero plays in the story and the perspective I chose to use (a third first: this is my first attempt at using a plural first-person perspective). I'd like to get it done by Tuesday night, so I can bring it into my meeting with my thesis advisor on Wednesday, but I'm sure it won't develop that quickly. Still, it would be nice; I'd embrace the idea of such an impossible event intruding upon my reality.

A Resolution

2009-01-22T20:37:00.000-08:00

Currently Listening To:

"The Wrestler" by Bruce Springsteen

I probably shouldn't care so much, but I'm a bit miffed at the Academy Award nominations. The Worst Offenders:

*No Best Picture for The Dark Knight or WALL-E

*No Screenplay/Director for The Dark Knight

*No Best Song for "The Wrestler" by Bruce Springsteen

I'll freely admit that I haven't seen any of the nominees for Best Picture, so I probably couldn't tell you whether or not The Dark Knight deserved to be nominated over the other five movies (and it's not like I'd be opposed to seeing any of them; I've heard good things about Benjamin Button and Slumdog Millionaire, and I personally want to see Frost/Nixon). Still, I think it's hard to deny the fact that WALL-E and The Dark Knight were the two best-reviewed movies of the year (and Iron Man, another great movie, was the third-best-reviewed movie of the year), so it doesn't make sense to me that they weren't nominated. Don't give me the Best Animated Movie crap for WALL-E either; I think it's a crime that they won't let animated movies contend with live-action movies. I'm just glad that WALL-E was nominated for Best Screenplay (I can't say the same for The Dark Knight, which I thought was wonderfully written). As for the Springsteen song, it's just beautiful (YouTube it if you haven't heard it yet). I'm not saying that Slumdog Millionaire shouldn't have been nominated for Best Song twice (I've heard the soundtrack is good; I'll check it out later), but I think it's a bit silly that the Academy only nominated three songs.

Anyway, to get back to a topic related to writing (although I suppose talking about the Best Screenplay Award kinda qualified), I've realized as of late that I have a very distinct addiction: buying books. I've joked about it before, but I've never really realized how serious it was until I bought ten used books on Amazon a week ago (yes, ten; good grief). Now, they were all books I wanted and even needed (like The Rhetoric of Fiction and Making Shapely Fiction; I'm trying to load up on nonfiction writing about fiction writing). Still, I feel like I need to halt my habits a bit.

I actually tallied up all of the books I've bought and haven't read yet, and it's a bit startling (I wouldn't recommend reading through the entire list, though; I just want to convey the scope of my habit):

Vermillion Sands by JG Ballard

Report on Probability A by Brian Aldiss

Super Flat Times by Matthew Derby

The Man Who Fell To Earth by Walter Tevis

The World Without Us by Alan Weisman

The Bloody Chamber by Angela Carter

The Yiddish Policemen's Union by Michael Chabon

Dreaming Down Under by Jack Dunn et al.

Men and Cartoon by Jonathan Lethem

The Rhetoric of Fiction by Wayne Booth

Making Shapely Fiction by Jerome Stern

Leviathan Vol. 3 by Jeff Vandermeer et al.

The Baron in the Trees by Italo Calvino

The SFWA European Hall of Fame by James Morrow et al.

The Circus of Dr. Lao by Charles Finney

A Voyage to Arcturus by David Lindsay

Myths of the Near Future by JG Ballard

The Giver by Lois Lowry (I want to read it again)

The Once and Future King by TH White

Kindred by Octavia Butler

Parable of the Talents by Octavia Butler

The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster (I want to read it again)

Utopia by Thomas More

Rites of Spring by Modris Eksteins

The Medium is the Massage by Marshall McLuhan

The Blue Lantern by Viktor Pelevin

Cosmicomics by Italo Calvino

The Atrocity Exhibition by JG Ballard

The Best American Short Stories 2008 (haven't finished it yet)

The Girl in the Flammable Skirt by Aimee Bender

Selected Stories by Adolfo Bioy Casares

The Things They Carried by Tim O'Brien

Pricksongs and Descants by Robert Coover

The Jaguar Hunter by Lucius Shepard

One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Invisible Cities by Italo Calvino

Waiting for the Barbarians by JM Coetzee

The Man Who Was Thursday by GK Chesterton

A Canticle for Leibowitz by Walter Miller

True History of the Kelly Gang by Peter Carey

Dhalgren by Samuel Delany

The Raw Shark Texts by Steven Hall

The Heart is a Lonely Hunter by Carson McCullers

Was by Geoff Ryman

Horseman, Pass By by Larry McMurtry

Jesus' Son by Denis Johnson

Pedro Paramo by Juan Rulfo

Veniss Underground by Jeff Vandermeer

The Invention of Morel by Adolfo Bioy Casares

The Sailor Who Fell From Grace With The Sea by Yukio Mishima

A Personal Matter by Kenzaburo Oe

The Sacred and the Profane by Mircea Eliade

The Dispossessed by Ursula LeGuin

The Female Man by Joanna Russ

The Trial by Franz Kafka

The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood

Lord of Light by Roger Zelazny

Hard-Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World by Haruki Murakami

Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro

Oryx and Crake by Margaret Atwood

The Prestige by Christopher Priest

Valis/The Three Stigmata of Palmer Eldritch/Flow My Tears, the Policeman Said by Philip K. Dick

The Blind Assassin by Margaret Atwood

The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck

Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell

The Crying of Lot 49 by Thomas Pynchon

Gravity's Rainbow by Thomas Pynchon

The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay by Michael Chabon

The Wizard of Oz by L. Frank Baum

The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula LeGuin

Rogue Moon by Algis Budrys

Stand on Zanzibar by John Brunner

The Godwhale by TJ Bass

Perdido Street Station by China Mieville

Winesburg, Ohio by Sherwood Anderson

Slaughterhouse Five by Kurt Vonnegut

The New York Trilogy by Paul Auster

White Noise by Don DeLillo

The Road by Cormac McCarthy

Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy

The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy

The Inverted World by Christopher Priest

Camp Concentration by Thomas Dysch

Towing Jehovah by James Morrow

So, here's the resolution I'm proposing for myself: I won't buy myself any more books until I've read at least twenty-five of the books on this list. After that, I can start buying books again, but only at the rate that I complete the ones I need to read (if I read two books, I can buy two, that sort of thing). I'll probably read the Tevis novel first, since it'll help me out with a few of my comp questions, but who knows after that. If anyone can recommend some good starting points for me, or books on this list that I absolutely have to read pronto, then fire away.

For an update on the MFA watch, I haven't heard anything yet. I'm not surprised, of course, since I probably won't be hearing from any of the programs for another two months. Washington University said they'd probably get back to me by late February/early March, which surprised me, but I wouldn't blame them if they took longer. I'm betting that I'll be hearing from a lot of the programs by late March/early April, considering how many manuscripts they have to evaluate.

For another update, on my submission to McSweeney's, I haven't heard anything back from them. It's been six months since I've submitted my story, so I should be hearing back from them any time now, hopefully. My friend Ben also mentiond that it might be possible to write to them and inquire about my story's progress, so I might do that. I'll have to see if it's possible.

Evaluations

2009-01-12T14:13:00.000-08:00

Currently Listening To:

"Take A Bow" by Muse

I ran by the English Department office at my university earlier today to drop off my comp questions and application (finished over break, thank goodness; now all I have to do is study for the suckers), and while I was there I picked up my class evaluations from last semester's students. I just got done reading through them, and once again I'm reminded of the central problem for me when reading these things: to what degree are they actually reliable indicators of what I'm doing in the classroom? I'm not going to go so far as to say that they're totally useless, since that would be an indicator of me absolving myself of any responsibility as a teacher for my personal philosophy and actions, but at the same time again and again I get the impression that students can be pretty fickle with their evaluations. It's not a stretch to say that students' negative or positive responses are usually proportional to what they think they're getting in the class.

I think that, if anything, I need to change how I present information in the course. For instance, a lot of my students talked about disliking the textbook (in fact, I'd say the majority of them didn't like it) because the chapters were too redundant, or they thought that the chapters and stories were "pointless" (they also wanted me to tell them when the pop quizzes were going to be and what was going to be on the quizzes; go figure). I'll admit, I'm a bit flummoxed by this. I think it's because I never saw the chapters in the textbook as being redundant; rather, when I saw overlaps between chapters, I just knew that these "redundancies" were actually extremely important, since they appeared so often. I think I need to try and have my students perceive these "redundancies" in a similar manner, instead of just assuming they will. As for the "pointless" chapters and stories, I'll try being more overt in asking them why I had them cover the readings. Hopefully, by framing the discussion in such a manner, they'll see that they aren't "pointless" at all.

I can still remember certain conversations from the past semester that illustrate this difficulty in making students realize the "point" of stories. For instance, I had my students read "Wickedness" for the chapter on setting, since it uses the setting of a winter blizzard so effectively. Here's how the actual lecture went for the most part, though:

Me: "So, class, what did you think about the story for today?"

One student: "I hated it. It was so depressing. Everybody just died."

Me: "That's not true. Not everybody died."

Another student: "I agree. It was really depressing, and it was really boring."

Me: "But what about the setting, though? What did you guys think about the language that the author used to capture the setting of the blizzard and the malevolent, merciless, impartial nature of it?

Everybody: *Blank, bored stares*

I really do think one of the most difficult parts of any creative writing class is getting beginning writers to get used to reading in a new way. This is especially difficult if they just don't like reading in the first place, or don't read much at all. My students complained about having to read so many stories, but I assigned them so many stories because it was the best way for them to observe the conventions of storytelling besides writing. For whatever reason, a lot of the time students are really resistant to reading stories through the lens of craft. I guess it goes to show that we need to teach our students how to read in addition to how to write.

There's been some talk about merit-based pay for a while, with the evaluations playing some kind of a role in professors' salaries. I just don't see the effectiveness of this as long as students' evaluations continue to be so fickle in nature. I could the effectiveness of rewarding extreme success or punishing extreme failure, but that's it. Personally, I think we need to think of some way for teachers to evaluate their students for how well they fulfill their roles as students. We need to create some kind of evaluation sheet that breaks down students' performance into multiple categories. Of course, we already do that in the form of report cards and graded assignments, but I think we need to do something additional, something similar in form to what our students do for us.

I'll end this post with my personal favorite student evaluation of my performance as a teacher last semester. This is what he/she said when asked "What changes would you suggest to the instructor?":

"Shave your head."

So, What Now?

2008-12-16T13:40:00.000-08:00

Currently Listening To:

"We Carry On" by Portishead

Well, I think I got the business with the letters of recommendation straightened out with Texas. It turns out that there were a few moments of miscommunication between them and me the first time around, when I was getting directions for what to do. I'm sure it's mostly my fault; I probably misheard something. Hopefully, everything's good to go now and my references will be able to get their information in. I have to say, I appreciate how accomodating Texas is. They basically said that it's okay if the letters come in after the deadline; they're mostly worried about my online application and my writing sample for now. What the secretary at the Michener Center told me was that they use a multiple-round process (I'm sure most other programs do this too, though). All they need for the first round is the application packet (which I sent online way early) and my manuscript and personal statement (also sent in early). If I'm lucky enough to make it to the second round of deliberations, then they actually take a proactive approach to compiling all of the missing materials, which I though was very kind of them; I can only imagine how busy they are when deliberating this stuff.

I finished all of my huge projects for the last week of the semester, which I'm happy about. I got my ENG 598 paper knocked out on Friday and my ENG 686 paper done on Saturday. It was fairly exhausting, and I got a bit depressed when I thought about how that time could have gone towards writing a story, but now I'm a bit energized by the fact that I got them done so swiftly. I also got all of my students' grades prepared for their final configurations; all I have to do is grade their finals and I'll be able to assign their overall grades immediately afterwards.

So what am I doing now? For one, I'm working on the new syllabus for my ENG 215 class. I'm teaching a TR class next semester because I wanted to have experience teaching MWF and TR sections, so I'd be able to adapt to either kind of section wherever I went. It's a little imposing, but not stressfully so. I just need to compose a breakdown of my typical class minutes to see how I need to delegate class materials, assignments, lectures and other content. It would help if I had a sample syllabus to work off of, but I've already contacted a friend about this, so I should be good.

I'm also studying for my ENG 598 final, or at least I'm trying to. My professor didn't do a great job of indicating what I needed to study, but then again he didn't do so for the midterm either and I did okay on it by just familiarizing myself with the big genres, poems, and historical material. That's what I'm trying to do this time, but I feel like we really didn't do much over the second half of the class, so I'm having trouble thinking of stuff to study. That can't be good. Still, I'll just tackle whatever I can in a similar manner as last time and do my best, like always.

I should probably start working on my comp questions for Form and Theory and finalizing my questions for Early Brit Lit. too, but I think I'll do that over break. I actually sent my list in to Dr. Tita Baumlin for Early Brit Lit. and she seemed to like them quite a bit, which I was encouraged by. She even gave me suggestions on how to word the questions so I wouldn't be required to talk about things I didn't know, which rocked. Dr. Neumann just said he could take a look at my questions next semester, when he isn't so busy, so I'm okay with that. I'm actually more worried about my Form and Theory questions because I don't really read a lot of nonfiction about writing, and I haven't received much instruction about craft from my professors over the years beyond personalized feedback on stories. I'm just planning to concentrate on that over break. I'll try and read John Gardner's Art of Fiction then; that should help give me some material. I also need to read some novels, since apparently comp readers expect students to write about more than just short stories, which sucks because I have trouble finding time to read novels during the school. Maybe it'll be easier next semester, since I'm only taking one class besides my thesis hours.

I'm also hoping to get a new short story written over the break. I'll actually start working on it tonight after I'm done studying, probably. I've been dying to incorporate my knowledge and feelings about comic books and superheroes into a story for some time now. I've also been wanting to experiment more with how I tell stories and how I structure them, so it'll probably be a bit new for me in some regards. Still, I'm pumped. I've got some research material lined out (mostly concerning the structure I have in mind for the story, which is feeling very multi-faceted and "postmodern," to misuse the adjective; I'm toying with the idea of having it be somewhat similar to the formatting and plotting of comic books in parts, like I'm trying to replicate the panelling through my writing), and I've got an idea of the central theme or impression that will probably emerge from the story (I won't need to force it too much as long as I concentrate on the characters; it should emerge on its own). I've also got an idea of what story I want to match up to, as an ideal for my writing on this project (my favorite, "The Deathbird" by Harlan Ellison). All I need to do is write it. Of course, I'll give progress reports along the way.

Complications

2008-12-12T22:36:00.000-08:00

Currently Listening To:

"Back + Forth" by Maps

As of right now, all of the colleges that I've applied to have all of my required materials on file. Except for one. And it just so happens to be the one with the closest deadline. For whatever reason, the University of Texas hasn't received letters from two of my professors yet. One of them needed it resent to him, while another actually sent his in, but for whatever reason they haven't received it yet. I went about fixing this problem on Wednesday by calling up their graduate admissions office, where someone told me they could resend their links for the letters of recommendation. That turned out to be a lie. I called them the next day and they proceeded to tell me that I needed to email a certain address to notify them that they needed to resend the links to the online application, but that would have taken too long and the deadline is the 15th. So, I called the Michener Center, where they said that the letters could just be emailed to the address the GIAC provided me. Therefore, I set about telling my professors that they needed to email their letters to that address. However, that address is no longer working, apparently, or isn't working at the moment. Now, I'm in a situation where I feel rather helpless, and I'm trying not to think about it because, quite frankly, there really isn't anything I can do until Monday. I'll probably call the Michener Center and see if they take faxes for letters of recommendation. Hopefully they do, and hopefully my references aren't sick of me at this point. I feel like I've strung them along with this process, moreso than they deserve, so I hope this all turns out well and I'm not being too big of a bother for them at an already difficult time in the semester.

That's a rather large chunk of info, but I needed to get it all out at once. This whole thing is driving me nuts. I just want all of my things turned in and done, really.

I should probably try and finish my homework and grading to take my mind off of things. I just finished a twelve-page paper about critical responses to an Old English poem, "Wulf and Eadwacer." It took me about seven or eight hours to research and write (I'm a fast reader). Sadly, though, my motivation is seriously lacking for just about everything outside of writing and MFAs right now. My first thought after finishing my paper was "I could have been spending all of this time working on a story instead of writing this paper." It's about 4300 words, the length of an average-sized short story. I could go on.

Now, I'm supposed to write a paper investigating whether or not Harlan Ellison could be considered a modernist. It would be a lot easier to do this one, since I'm a fan of Ellison (although he has got some clunker stories, I'll admit; never read "The Beast That Shouted Love At The Heart Of The World"). However, I can't find a good academic source that has a list and descriptions of agreed-upon formal and thematic characteristics outside of Wikipedia, and I know I shouldn't use Wikipedia, even when it's right (and it is right in this instance; I've checked it out). Do I treat things like the characteristics of Modernist literature like common knowledge? Or do I need to cite them from a source? It's annoying, especially since I have about five days to write it. And, of course, it's homework. I'd rather be working on a collection of short stories revolving around my "God in a Jar/Mad World" story right now (I haven't decided on which title I want more).

Plus, I should be grading my students' revision assignments and their bonus critiques right now. I suppose I could do that before I call it a night. I also know that I should do it all soon, before the deadline comes up and bites me (it's on the Saturday after finals this semester, which prompted a big "WTF?!" from just about everyone). Still, at this point in the semester my brain is broken. I'm ready for the three weeks-or-so after finals to recharge at least a little bit while I'm working on comp questions (*whimper*) and revamping my syllabus. I can look at my coworkers and friends and see that they feel the same way, that we're all dealing with the same thing: a particularly nasty strand of unmotivation. I can look at my students and see that they're thinking about two things: 1) how to get me to give them the answers to the class final and 2) Christmas/Winter Break. I just want to write my stories and read my comic books right now. I wish I could write comp questions about comic books.

Speaking of books, I picked up a few on Thursday:

Graphic Novels: Everything You Need To Know by Paul Gravett

The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood

Brave New World by Aldous Huxley

A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess

The Dispossessed by Ursula LeGuin

I smell a comp question about dysopias coming on (if only I could find a way to fit that into the Form and Theory of Prose). As for the book on graphic novels, I think it's just a part of this kick I'm on about comic books. I've always liked comic books, but lately I've been craving them with a vengeance. I'll probably wind up trying, and failing, to compose a graphic novel at some point.

Contingency Plans

2008-12-05T21:12:00.000-08:00

Currently Listening To:

"Closer" by Kings of Leon

It's not something I like to think about, but sometimes I do wonder what I'll do if I don't get accepted into an MFA program. It's not an instance of wanting to think that one or two of the schools I've applied to will accept me into their program; in fact, I don't want to think about my chances of getting in or not. I know that I'll get too far ahead of myself in either direction, whether its optimism or pessimism. Still, I have to think about what I'll do if I don't get into an MFA program immediately.

Regardless of what happens, I'll keep writing. I'll keep writing short stories, and I'll probably start writing novels. I know that, for whatever reason, sometimes it's easier to get published (and make money) with a novel than short stories. I've got several projects that I'd love to get cracking on sooner or later:

A collection of short stories

A novel based on something bizarre that's recently happened to a friend of mine

A fantasy novel series (filtered through my own aesthetic, of course)

A fix-up novel oriented around one of my SF short stories

If I don't get accepted into an MFA program, then I'll have to think about getting a job in order to support myself. Hopefully, it would be something that involves writing or my own unique skillset (I guess I'll have to decide what it is, exactly) and gives me plenty of free time to write. Along the same lines of supporting myself, I would probably start working on my fantasy series. I'm sure that makes it sound like I'm trying to sell out or something, but this is actually something I've been considering since high school. I tried writing it my senior year in high school, but I aborted it eighty pages in because it felt like a retread of previous stories. Since then, I've learned enough about storytelling and myself that I might be able to try again. Obviously, the fantasy series might be easier to market right now than anything else I could write, so I might have an easier time finding an audience with that particular project. Again, though, I don't see this as selling out; I don't plan on compromising any of my literary principles in the process of finding success, nor do I think I have to.

I would also probably try and write my fix-up novel. For those of you that don't know what one of those is, it's a collection of interconnected short stories, usually oriented around previously published stories, that's rewritten to function as a novel. At the same time, the chapters can function as independent short stories. For those of you that are familiar with Ray Bradbury (and if you're not by now, you should be), The Martian Chronicles is an example of a fix-up novel. Again, this is a matter of being able to market my writing and get my stories read and published. And, of course, in the midst of all of this, I would continue trying to get accepted into an MFA program, since I still want to teach creative writing and receive the training that an MFA program would afford me.

I might also try screenwriting. When I applied to Texas and their MFA program, I listed screenwriting as my secondary field of study after fiction. I'm very interested in the possibility of both adapting previously written stories and creating original ones. I can't help but admire excellently written movies, since they combine verbal and visual mediums of storytelling to their fullest capacities. For instance, I just watched Witness, starring Harrison Ford. For those of you that haven't seen the movie, it's great. I would actually consider it as one of those movies that, if you told me you didn't like it, I would severely doubt your capacity for judgment (other movies that fit in that category: The Dark Knight, Unforgiven, The Truman Show, Amadeus, Pan's Labyrinth, and more). I would love to learn how to create movies that are as well constructed. I suppose that it couldn't hurt to teach myself how to write for the screen, provided I had the time.

What I've Been Doing Instead Of Worrying About My MFA Applications

2008-12-01T14:04:00.000-08:00

Currently Listening To:

"Chemical World" by Blur

I know it says that I'm listening to Blur right now, but I'm actually watching Spongebob Squarepants (I was listening to "Chemical World" before I started watching, so it's technically accurate). I'm not ashamed to admit that I like watching Spongebob, honestly. I like cartoons in general. I could actually create a Top Ten list of my favorite cartoons pretty easily. I know that it would have to include Beast Wars, Rocko's Modern Life, The Ren and Stimpy Show, South Park, The Venture Brothers, and Batman: The Animated Series.

I actually got into a rather detailed discussion about the best and worst Nicktoons a few days ago with my friends. We all more or less agreed that CatDog was the worst Nicktoon ever. It had horrible writing, horrible characters, and a lack of any amusement value whatsoever. We had a bit of an argument over the value of Hey Arnold! though. I argued that it wasn't a very good show at all, while my friends thought it was great. It just never amused me, really. I don't think it was the worst of the Nicktoons; it just bored me. We all agreed that Rocko's Modern Life was the best, though.

I apologize if this has absolutely nothing to do with writing. Honestly, I've been trying to occupy myself with other things ever since I sent out my MFA applications. It hasn't been too bad, thanks to my friends (and their awesome discussions) and my homework. I actually just finished two of the four papers that I needed to get done before the end of the semester. I finished up a paper on the symbolism of wolves in Old English literature, and then I need to put the finishing touches on a presentation about defamiliarization and cognitive estrangement in connection with my writing. I plan on getting all of this done later tonight. For now, though, I'm just relaxing. After I get those two papers finalized, I'll probably start work on my other two papers and the final test for the creative writing class I'm teaching. I know what I'm doing for the big research paper for my Old English Language and Lit class: a survey of critical reactions to the poem "Wulf and Eadwacer." As for the big seminar paper for my Form and Theory class, I've got two ideas I'm considering: 1) Modernist techniques in the work of Harlan Ellison; or 2) defamiliarization/cognitive estrangement in the work of Philip K. Dick. Dr. Neumann seems keen on me writing about Ellison, but it would be easier for me to write about PKD. Nevertheless, I need to make a decision soon.

In other news, I bought five books from the university bookstore today. I have this tendency to go shopping for books every time I make money. This actually makes ten books bought in the past few days. Here's the comprehensive list, in chronological order:

Vermillion Sands by J.G. Ballard

Super Flat Times by Matthew Derby

Report on Probability A by Brian Aldiss

Bat-Manga! The Secret History of Batman in Japan by Chip Kidd et al.

The Bloody Chamber by Angela Carter

Childhood's End by Arthur C. Clarke

The Trial by Franz Kafka

The Female Man by Joanna Russ

The World Without Us by Alan Weisman

Holy Sh*t! The World's Weirdest Comic Books by Paul Gravett and Peter Stanbury

I've already finished Bat-Manga! and I have to say that it was a pretty good read. It's fun to see another culture take a crack at an American icon like Batman. A lot of the comics feature traditional Batman villains, like Clayface, but there are a lot of Japanese-exclusive villains like Professor Gorilla and Lord Death Man (those are their real names). I'm probably going to run through Holy Sh*t! next, and then The Bloody Chamber.

I'm also planning on getting The Dark Knight as soon as it comes out (December 9; I've got the date memorized). I'll most likely pounce on the first copy I find.

I just remembered that I also need to write my comp questions soon. I'll probably have to get those written up sometime this week, or maybe this weekend. I'll probably talk to Dr. Baumlin (Tita, not Jim) about questions for Early British Lit and Dr. Neumann about questions for Form and Theory of Prose. Hopefully, I can get all of my necessary tasks done soon, but then I'd have to find more ways to not think about my MFA applications. I'll draw my own comic book if I have to.

The Waiting Game

2008-11-23T17:31:00.000-08:00

Currently Listening To:
"Love Dog" by TV On The Radio

Well, it's official: my MFA applications are all finished and sent off. I gathered all of the material that I still had to send to the universities I'm applying to and sealed it all off in 9x12 manila envelopes (you'd be surprised how stressful sealing envelopes can be). I double-checked everything I had and sent it all off via the post office in the student union of my university. All I need to do now is make a quick phone call to someone in the Graduate Records office tomorrow so I can truthfully answer a question on one of my applications; after I get that finalized and sent off (it's an online application; I sent all of the necessary paper resources to this university already), then I'll be completely finished with every aspect of my applications.

At this point, I just have to wait and see, I realize. Here's the six universities I'm applying to, in no particular order:
University of Texas-Austin
University of Iowa
Washington University
University of Kansas
Indiana University
University of Michigan
I'm amused that I've already begun to create hierarchies of preference among the schools I've applied to. I feel pretty arrogant for saying "well, I want to go to this one..." when I know that I'd be highly honored and happy to be selected by any of them. Still, I think I've started creating said hierarchies because, well, I need to keep myself occupied in the next few months somehow. From what I understand, it can be mid-March or April before I hear back from the selection committees. That sounds like the exact amount of time it takes to be driven crazy.

When it came to selecting the universities I applied to, I looked at several different criteria of judgment. I didn't worry too much about whether they were two or three-year programs. I did worry about funding, of course, as I imagine every MFA applicant does, and all of these programs have very attractive funding options. I also worried about location. As much as I hate it sometimes, I still want to stay in the Midwest. I don't want to live too far away from my family and friends, and I've grown accustomed to the Midwest for the most part. Beyond these two main factors, I looked at the faculty for the programs to see if they were teachers I'd want to learn from, and I have to say that they all seem to have sterling teaching faculty and writers for me to learn from.

As I was saying, though, all of that is taken care of now, besides the small matter remaining on my application to one of the universities. I imagine that the months between now and when I hear from the selection committees for the MFA programs will be fairly busy. I'm hitting a very busy part of the semester. I've got four papers due in two different classes, plus the very last packet for my thesis before the revision cycle officially starts. I've got classes to teach, of course. I've got comp questions to prepare and comp exams to take (of course, the due date for the questions is coming up fast and I don't really have the time to work on them). I'd like to say that I'll be able to write some more stories, but it looks like I won't have time for much else than revising stories for my thesis. The next few months would be stressful without the inclusion of the MFA applications, but somehow those make the other things seem like a trifle in my mind.

The only thing I know at this point is what I would do if I were selected by one of the programs I've applied to. First, I imagine that I would read the letter/read the email/take the phone call, followed by vigorous cartwheels and joyous shouting that would disturb my neighbors/friends/coworkers. Then, I would call my parents and tell them the good news. After that, I would look at the world through rose-tinted glasses (forgive the cliche, but I find it appropriate), and the glasses wouldn't come off for a second. That summer between my graduation with a Master's Degree and the start of my studies at the MFA program that selected me would be filled with hope and joy. I'd get to read what I wanted and write what I wanted without having to worry about homework or having to read something else because it pertains to a class or comp question. I'd get to take care of anything I'd need to, such as exercising and fixing my car (it needs a new transmission, I think). In other words, it would be a period of perfect relaxation and celebration, where I could rest and recover as needed. It would be awesome.

So, I've decided on what I want for Christmas. I'm one of those people that has a tremendous amount of trouble choosing what he wants for Christmas, probably because what I really want can't just be bought for me: time, rest, motivation, sanity, a Master's Degree, etc. I also have a really hard time thinking of items for Christmas lists besides books. Of course, I got those set up almost right away. In fact, my booklist for Christmas went through three revisions. Here's what I requested as far as books go, in the order of how much I want them:
Omega: The Unknown by Jonathan Lethem
The 3 AM Epiphany by Brian Kiteley
The Man Who Fell To Earth by Walter Tevis
Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell
Like You'd Understand, Anyway by Jim Shepard
The World Without Us by Alan Weisman
Roadside Picnic by Arkady and Boris Strugatsky
Making Shapely Fiction by Jerome Stern
Bat-Manga! The Secret History of Batman in Japan by Chip Kidd
Going After Cacciato by Tim O'Brien
Borges: Collected Nonfictions by Jorge Luis Borges
At the very least, I'll be getting Omega: The Unknown and The 3 AM Epiphany from my parents, and I think my brother will be getting me a gift certificate to Barnes and Noble or Amazon.com, so that should take care of some of the other books. Still, I probably won't rest until I get all of these. I also asked for a new laptop case (my current one broke), an iPod speaker/alarm clock radio dock, a DS game (LEGO Batman looks like it would be a fun diversion), and some movies (I'm pulling for Wall-E and 2001: A Space Odyssey; I also want Duckman Seasons One and Two and The Dark Knight, but I'm getting those myself). Now, it remains to be seen what use I'll be able to get out of these while I'm studying for my comps, but that's another story.

Off To See The Wizard

2008-11-03T18:38:00.000-08:00

Currently Listening To:

"Yoshimi Battles The Pink Robots Pt. 1" by The Flaming Lips

Well, I finished all of the personal statements that I had to fill out, sort of. What I should say is that I've got conclusive drafts of them all assembled. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, once I got into the swing of things. I'm just glad to have them (mostly) done because now I can focus on sending out copies of my transcripts, sending my GRE scores to the schools, actually applying to the schools (they all do it over the internet now, which makes things easier), and, most importantly, revising my stories for the manuscripts.

I've got a 50%-formed idea of what my manuscripts will be so far. I know tht I'm going to include "The Whip and the Mule" in all of the manuscripts I send out. However, I'm going to have to offer the second story in the manuscripts based on the page count requirements at the schools. For the schools with the longer page counts, I'm going to send "The Scent of Wax," which should be good due to the overall difference in characters, theme, and narration; for the schools with the shorter page counts, I'm going to send "Little Criterion," for the same reasons.

The next hurdle for me in my applications is creating a curriculum vitae. As it turns out, two of the schools I'm applying to require me to submit one, but I've never made a CV before. Because of this, I had a meeting with one of my thesis readers today, Dr. Margaret Weaver, affectionately referred to around the office as the Wizard (aka Wizard of Oz) due to her ability to show you exactly what you need, to discuss how to create a CV. As it turns out, we didn't even get to the CV today because we wound up discussing revision tactics for "Little Criterion" and my personal statements. True to form, she showed a way to fix my main concerns for my story and a way to make my personal statements more interesting. We had to schedule another meeting on Wednesday to go over creating a CV, but she also wants to give me some feedback on "The Scent of Wax." It looks like it'll be another very productive appointment. Now all I need to do is meet up with my thesis advisor, Brian Shawver, to go over his suggestions for my stories.

For whatever reason, I just felt like creating a top ten list of short stories. Here they are:

1. "The Deathbird" by Harlan Ellison

2. "The Garden Of Forking Paths" by Jorge Luis Borges

3. "In The Penal Colony" by Franz Kafka

4. "The Man Who Lost The Sea" by Theodore Sturgeon

5. "A Rose For Emily" by William Faulkner

6. "The Aleph" by Jorge Luis Borges

7. "The Seventh Man" by Haruki Murakami

8. "The Night Face Up" by Julio Cortazar

9. "The Distance Of The Moon" by Italo Calvino

10. "Space" by Kevin Brockmeier

Honorable Mentions: "The Queen Of Spades" by Aleksandr Pushkin

"Sea Oak" by George Saunders

"The Drowned Giant" by J.G. Ballard

"A Good Man Is Hard To Find" by Flannery O'Connor

"Faith Of Our Fathers" by Philip K. Dick

Damn, I can't even give a top TEN list. Ah well. These are all awesome stories that deserve to be read. I wonder if it's possible to psychoanalyze me based on my story choices here, or at the very least figure out my personality. I like to believe that people can be guessed from what they admire. If anybody's got any suggestions for short stories I absolutely need to read, let me know.

To make this the third straight post concerning Kevin Brockmeier in some way (notwithstanding his position in my top ten list of short stories): while I was at my appointment with Dr. Weaver/the Wizard earlier today, I brought him up when I said that I was surprised and happy to learn that Brockmeier had attended Missouri State before going to Iowa for the Writer's Workshop. She proceeded to tell me that he had worked at the Writing Center as a tutor while she was the director there. You can probably imagine my reaction, considering that I'm currently working at the Writing Center. I've mentioned previously how I'm encouraged by the fact that Brockmeier came from Missouri State and went on to go to an MFA program and become a published, widely read author. Now, I'm only more encouraged, inspired even. I can't wait to send off my applications.

Purposeful Statements

2008-10-27T19:24:00.000-07:00

Currently Listening to:

"Tiger In The Sea" by The Daysleepers

I'm working on personal statements for my MFA applications right now (well, not right now, but you get the idea), and it's both less and more stressful than I thought it would be. It's less stressful because once I sit down in front of a keyboard with a specific thought in mind that I need to communicate, and once I get a good start, I can usually get it written down. It's more stressful because I'm worried that the selection committees are going to be weighing every word that I've written and finding them lacking. I keep thinking of disaster scenarios where professors automatically disqualify me for a misplaced comma or something in their personal preferrences that I've unwittingly insulted.

And then, naturally, my other self, my nonworrying self, comes in and says stop panicking you dummy! He's got a point, I suppose. Panic will get me nowhere in anything, much less MFA applications, and neither will disaster scenarios. I'm not sure what I think about the idea that visualizing or imagining success will grant you success (if that worked, I'd have a million dollars, a book, a Ferrari and three girlfriends by now). However, I do think that thinking bad things are going to happen can sometimes put people in the mindset where they cause their own downfall, and I'm not going to do that. I just have to concentrate on remaining in control of my own efforts and doing the best I can.

I just finished my Statement of Purpose for the University of Texas MFA application, and I do feel like I've put a lot of effort into it. I feel like I've done my best on it, for now anyway. Maybe I'll think of something later that I can revise. I am a bit shocked that I met the word requirement. The maximum word count for the Statement of Purpose is 350 words. Mine is exactly 350 words right now. I love how I have to cut it close all the time; it just seems to be a part of how I do things.

I've recently discovered that Ken Gillam, the newly appointed Director of Composition in the English Department at Missouri State University, and his wife Shannon are actually friends with Kevin Brockmeier. I talked to them at a soiree (I like the sound of that word, although not as much as I like the sound of "cellar door") that took place at the English Department Head's house after the last Moon City Invitational Reading, and Shannon mentioned the possibility of inviting Brockmeier to have a reading on campus. Apparently, he's even mentioned this possibility before (if there were an emoticon for "combination of shock and happiness," I'd be using it in this space). I told Shannon that I'd gladly help any effort to bring Brockmeier to the campus if I could, and I meant it. Considering what I wrote about in my last post, it would be fantastic to have him come to campus. I'm sure that if he did, I would geek out something fierce, but I'll worry about that if and when the time comes.

A Revision Machine

2008-10-25T17:37:00.000-07:00

Currently Listening To:

"Couleurs" by M83

I've always been amazed at how revision is simultaneously the most important part of writing a good story (besides actually writing the darn thing in the first place) and the least favorite part for most writers. It's been a common topic of conversation between me and some of my friends lately. It's an especially timely topic for me because I'm working on the stories for my thesis, and part of making sure they're squeaky clean is revising them.

I guess I've just never looked forward to the revision process all that much when writing. I fully understand the importance of it, no doubt. At the same time, though, I'm one of those writers that wants to be DONE with a story when I finish it after the first draft. I usually get a very strong sense of completion, like I just wrapped up some big labor, after I type the last sentence. I can usually spend another few hours revising it later, but I typically can't go much further than that because I wind up actually getting sick of looking at my story. All of this makes the revision process something that I don't particularly look forward to.

A recent conversation I had with my friend Justin helped me realize how much I needed revision, though. Justin basically mentioned that he disliked revision as much as I did, possibly more. We talked about the sense of drudgery we sometimes get when we pore over every word and letter in our stories. After we talked about that, though, he said something very important. He said that as much as he hated revising his stories, it was all worth it at the end because his stories were that much better.

I thought that was a very good choice of words, and it made me realize both why revision was so important and how I could approach it with the right mindset: "at the end." I think the reason that I, and other writers, hate revision so much sometimes is because of too strong a focus on the process of revision and too weak a focus on the product. It's easy to forget, with my mind being numbed during a search for adverbs, that by the end of it all my story will be closer to the ideal form lying deep within it.

Right now, I'm taking a break from working on a revised version of one of the stories for my thesis. It's coming along reasonably well. One reason for this is because I've spent a while away from the story, which I think is a good idea if time is an option. The biggest reason, though, is because I'm focused on making sure that every change I enact (with the very valuable help of my advisor and readers) makes it a much better story by the end. I have a tendency to look at stories in a dichotomy of being "old" and "new" stories, but now I also know that every time I revise a story, it becomes "new" again.

What's funny about all of this is that the idea of focusing on product instead of process during revision is the exact opposite of what was suggested to me as a teacher. I've been told numerous times that I need to teach writing to my students by reminding my students that writing is a process. I can understand the usefulness of teaching process for personal discipline, but I feel like it's equally important to teach students the value of the final product, for the sake of personal motivation.

On a different note, I found out recently that Kevin Brockmeier, the author of the short story collections Things That Fall From The Sky and The View From The Seventh Layer, was actually a student at Missouri State University before he got his MFA at Iowa and made a career out of being a writer. This made me ecstatic. One, I've only just recently been introduced to his stories, but I think he's a great writer. He has a wonderful personal style, and I enjoy and aspire to his ability to blend the fantastic and the realistic. Two, I'm now a lot more encouraged in my own quest to get an MFA. To know that someone like Kevin Brockmeier went on to do what he's done after being a student at Missouri State University, and to know that he got his MFA writing the kinds of stories he does, gives me hope for my own goal of getting accepted to an MFA program and making a career out of writing someday.

The Shape of Things to Come

2008-09-27T18:49:00.001-07:00

Currently listening to:

"He Doesn't Know Why" by Fleet Foxes

It's been awhile since I've posted on this blog. Basically, this blog was created for my ENG 603 class as a way of fulfilling the requirements for a class assignment. When the class ended, so did my blog posts.

Until now.

Starting with my next post, this blog will be primarily used as a means for me to discuss writing: musing over different topics in writing, writing about authors and stories that I've read or been intrigued by, and sometimes talking about my own writing (by that, I mean the processes I go through as I write, although I suppose at some point I'll mention my own stories; I'm still a bit hesitant about the whole idea of posting my stories on the internet without a copyright attached). I'm sure that at some point I'll write about my efforts to become a published writer and get accepted into an MFA program as well.

I suppose I might also talk about teaching at some point as well, since I'm still teaching a creative writing class. Honestly, though, unless something comes up that I've just gotta write about, I'll probably be focused on writing.

So, keep your eyes peeled and watch for future posts!

Following The (Double) Standards

2008-05-07T17:12:00.001-07:00

It seems like one of the biggest struggles of teaching any form of writing, whether it's freshman composition or fiction writing, is making sure that we follow the very advice that we give our students about writing. This is something that pops up for me quite often in the context of creative writing classes. There have been a few times this semester where we'll be having a conversation about a story, my students and I, and I'll tell them something about writing, a rule or caveat of some kind, and later on I'll discover that not only have many published writers broken or violated that rule, but I myself broke it in one of my own stories. I've heard arguments that essentially place me in the right here, arguments like “you've gotta know the rules before you can break them” (an argument I can understand and mostly adhere to, since the important implication there is that, in such a situation, a writer ideally knows WHY the rules need to be broken in the context of their story). Nevertheless, I usually wind up feeling like a massive hypocrite, which I don't like since I always try to practice what I preach.

Not surprisingly, I've also encountered this in the course of teaching ENG 110, especially when I was just starting out last semester. I would tell my students about organizational strategies in their papers that either worked or didn't work, and I told them about how they couldn't use “I” language in their writing, or how they had to make sure that every paragraph had a topic sentence of some sort. Of course, I know of instances where I've succeeded on a paper while not always fulfilling these requirements, and I know of scholarly articles on writing (some of which we've all encountered in classes on rhetoric and composition) that make liberal use of “I” language or don't always use clear topic sentences. Again, situations like this make me think about what I'm teaching my students, although arguments like “you've gotta know the rules before you can break them” also come into play here somewhat.

I really do think it's important to question whether or not we're being sincere about what we teach our students, in light of instances like these. Yes, I do believe that we earn more liberties with our writing as we develop as writers and scholars, and we learn about ways that we can subvert certain rules or work around them, bending them in our favor. At the same time, it's something I struggle with. I can see that it's something that other TA's have struggled with as well (to be specific, I'm thinking of some of the blog posts people have written about the Writing What We Teach assignment and how they felt that the assignment reflected neither their revision style nor that of their students, thus creating one of those moments where there seems to be an implicit double standard).

However, I think that this struggle is something that's absolutely necessary to helping us develop as teachers. We need to be placed in situations like this in order to examine the connection between our practice and our pedagogy, provided that it doesn't cause us, or our students for that matter, any harmful stress (there certainly doesn't need to be any more of that). It's completely and utterly necessary that we think about what we teach our students, even if we have to feel like we're doing something wrong before we can find the right way.

Imitation Is The Sincerest Form Of Flattery . . . Right?

2008-05-05T14:08:00.000-07:00

Last night, I was in the middle of some grading for my ENG 215 class. To be more specific, I was looking through the critiques my students write when their classmates' stories come due for workshop (they're supposed to write them before class, but of course there's always some last minute scribbling). I made my way through roughly half of them when something dawned on me: some of my students have adopted my critical style in their critiques. It was kinda strange to look through them again, noticing how one of my students made a specific mark that I use sometimes to indicate that two paragraphs need to be merged, while another one of my students used specific vocabulary that I introduced and used in the context of the class. These are all students that had a preexisting critical style that has somehow absorbed some of the things I say and do while talking about a story in class or writing a story critique. This change has even shown its presence in how my students discuss stories in class. They pay attention to things that they hadn't really noticed until I started discussing them at length.

Now, I'm a very firm believer that, as a teacher, it's my responsibility to be a role model for my students, and a good one at that. I honestly believe that the attitude I carry into class is contagious, and therefore I make sure to demonstrate my enthusiasm for and awareness of the subject I teach, whether it's freshman composition or creative writing. I often tell my students that I would never assign them anything or make them do anything that I wouldn't do or haven't already done myself. I purposely set myself up to be seen as an example of ideal behavior (of course, I don't suppress much of my unique eccentricities; that would be damn near impossible, I think). I never state it explicitly, but the implicit message is that they can learn a lot about how to succeed in writing by observing what, and how, I say, do and write.

Now, with a backstory like that, you might think I would be utterly pleased to see that my students have absorbed some of my personality into the way they write and think about writing. It's true, I could feel my mouth stretch into some wry kind of smile as I read their critiques. However, a certain anxiety struck me: what if my students are losing some essential part of themselves while absorbing some elements of myself? I worried about whether or not I was turning them into clones of me (a fear which is most likely unfounded, since my students have got their own special little sets of eclectic influences that I'm probably not even aware of). Basically, I feared that I was tainting their identities.

Here's the truth of it, though: identity is a nebulous thing, especially in academia, especially when you're absorbing the knowledge that has been imparted from numerous scholars and teachers. I may worry about unwittingly manipulating my students' identities, but I can guarantee that the same thing has happened to me in the course of the English classes I took as an undergraduate. I'm a very different writer today than I was as a freshman because of teachers like my ENG 215 instructor, Mark Porter, who himself was a graduate teaching assistant. I've developed because of people that I've either taken classes from or with, people that I'm fortunate to continue working with as a GTA. In those instances when I absorbed something from those people, either stylistically, intellectually, philosophically, or an other “-ally” you can think of, I've done so willingly, knowing that what I absorbed from these people would have a profound impact on my writing, an impact that I wanted to happen. Even when I absorbed something from someone without knowing it or even wanting it, I still found it useful or marveled at its function later. I still recognized the wisdom and utility in what I absorbed.

I suppose that, in the end, my students are doing the same thing I did when I decided that I wanted to take more detailed marginal notes when critiquing stories, because that was the way Mr. Porter did it and I liked it that way. They're just seeing something they like or want, for whatever reason, and taking it as their own. Personally, I'm just glad I have something to offer.

My Six Word Memoir, Plus The Ones That Didn't Make The Cut

2008-05-04T22:40:00.000-07:00

So, I recently got this prompt from Dr. Cadle:
"Completely off the subject, you've been tagged for a meme. Why? Because we all need more writing fun right now. See Can your sum up your life in just six words? (a meme) to see how, then as a part of your post, tag at least six others."

This is the one I finally decided on:

My imagination has made me strong.

Translation: I'm a creative writer, so that interpretation is fairly obvious. It has another meaning beyond that, though, a very personal one. The short version, basically, is that I wouldn't be the person I am today if I hadn't been able to rely on my imagination to get me through some pretty hard times. The long version, of course, is not meant for the blogosphere. Anyone who's read my Literacy Narrative from ENG 620 last semester knows the full story, though.

Just for fun, here were some of the rejected six-word memoirs I'd previously come up with:

Out of the darkness, I rise.

The reason I ditched it: it made me sound too much like Batman. I personally don't see anything wrong with that (I'm a fan, actually), but it's fairly obvious that I'm not Batman.

I write from the soul fire.

The reason I ditched it: it's kinda catchy, but it sounds like a lyric from a screamo song, so ick.

Why can't I run without panting?

The reason I ditched it: it was a bit too honest.

Writing What We Teach, Creative Writing Style!

2008-03-24T20:39:00.000-07:00

I've been reading, with mucho interest, the blogs that some of you have already written about the Writing What We Teach assignment, and I've had some neat conversations about it as well. So far, we've been examining the effectiveness of the Writing What We Teach assignment in the context of ENG 110. Of course, that makes sense; the assignment was designed with the ENG 110 class in mind, considering that it's a Textual Analysis paper. I've heard many opinions on it, ranging from those who think the assignment is a good idea to those who think it has its share of flaws, and even then to those who think the assignment isn't an accurate representation of how they write at all, even raising the issue of whether we should be using graduate-level work as realistic models for students in the first place (I can see the usefulness of both the “yes” and “no” sides of that debate, and that's not even counting the infinite variations of “maybe”). Personally, I see the assignment, in the context of ENG 110, as more of an opportunity to bond with our students and show them that we relate to what they're doing in the class (not to mention a way to demonstrate that we indeed do know what we're talking about) than anything else.

All tangents aside, what I really want to do here is place the assignment in a different class context altogether in order to examine what it could do for other classes that we teach. For the purposes of this post, I will be writing about possible uses of the Writing What We Teach assignment in ENG 215, Creative Writing-Short Fiction. Now, I actually believe that the Writing What We Teach assignment could be used quite handily in a fiction writing class. My main reason for this is in how the assignment demonstrates the necessity of revision as an ingredient of successful creative writing. This is an element that students don't often recognize, mostly due to a lot of myths that they've somehow encountered about writing. They have this interpretation of writing as something that's “easy,” that all successful writers sit down only once to write a story or a novel, type a few thousand words or so, and presto! Done. Now, while I have been a willing recipient of what many people call the Muse on several occasions, and I do believe that a lot of success in creating brilliant literature comes from those unexplainable “Ah ha!” moments (and I believe that much successful academic writing comes in the same way as well), I still recognize the importance of revision in creative writing, as I'm sure most, if not all, successful writers do. Yes, sometimes my stories come out quite nicely the first time around, but no matter how good it is I still put it through the ringer several more times, mostly because I refuse to put my name on any piece of creative writing unless it feels just right (or until I'm sick of revising it, which I'll admit happens more frequently than the former item). Combine that with the fact that I tend to revise while I type in the first place and, well, you get the idea. I know for a fact that most of the world-renowned authors that my students know about (and many that they don't, of course) have a common tendency to revise their stories quite frequently as well: Stephen King has a highly systematized revision process; Stuart Dybek is known for being rather exacting with his writing, to put it mildly; even James Joyce, from what I understand, was known to put his novels through many, many drafts (correct me if I'm wrong, of course).

I understand the tendency of students to see a piece of art and not realize the importance of revision in creating it. After all, when we go to art museums, what we see is the final result, the ultimate version of the painting. We don't see the artist slaving over his painting for weeks or even months at a time, going through multiple canvases to get every brushstroke just right. The same is true for reading a story; most of the time, students read stories while unaware of the revision that the author may have put it through. Basically, we're not present for the process behind the product (I happen to believe that you can't have one without the other; take that, process-product dichotomy). At the very least, utilizing the Writing What We Teach assignment in the context of ENG 215 could make students aware of the importance of that process. It could also dispel many of the myths that students have about creative writing when they first set foot within the class. Perhaps this might work for other classes too, like ENG 203 or ENG 205. I believe it's definitely something worth thinking about.

Arts and Crafts Day

2008-03-07T12:36:00.000-08:00

I think I'd like to write about a comment that was made during our Pedagogical Landscape day (which was great, by the way, for many reasons; I don't think I'll ever forget the “Mina Shaughnessy Seal of Approval” or the image of Noam Chomsky in a superhero cape). At some point, there was a comment made about the last group of drawings being more student-centered than the landscapes that came before. I do agree that the last group involved students more explicitly in their landscapes than others did, in such varied forms as stick figures, goats and Oompa Loompas. It could be argued that they were more explicitly student-centered than some of the other landscapes; they were certainly more explicitly student-centered than mine, which I believe involved me, as Ben put it, “frolicking through the gillyflowers” of Cognitivism, Expressivism, and Social Constructivism, never really committing to one of those. It's not like I drew students frolicking along with me.

However, there's something that needs to be considered here: while those landscapes (which I thought were absolutely wonderful, by the way) were more explicitly student-centered, I don't think there was a landscape that wasn't student-centered in at least an implicit manner. Think about it: why do we debate different pedagogies? Why do we deliberate over which theorists and theories we like the most? Ideally, we do this with our students in mind; we struggle with different pedagogies because we're concerned over which ones will help our students the most, because different students demand different pedagogies. That's why I went skipping through those three theoretical systems in the first place, because I found that staying in only one pedagogy didn't help my students at all, because each one had its own strengths and weaknesses. I don't struggle with pedagogies out of personal interest; I couldn't care less about defending a certain pedagogy against masses of disagreeing scholars. In fact, I believe that finding one pedagogy and slavishly sticking with it and only it is quite dangerous, for scholars and their students. Basically, my personal interest IS my students, and I feel like that's much the same with everyone else too, or at least it should be. My picture may have shown me and only me frolicking through the pedagogical fields, but the truth is that I was doing it for my students.

Creative Writing and Composition: Do They Go Together Like Peanut Butter and Thumbtacks?

2008-02-29T17:35:00.001-08:00

As anyone who knows me fairly well could have guessed, I wrote down the role of creative writing in the composition classroom as my pedagogical issue that I really wanted tackled. I suppose that I was kinda disappointed that we didn't cover it in greater detail in class, because I felt like it would have made for a really interesting and potentially rewarding conversation. Instead, we talked about things like extended absences. Granted, extended absences do bug me, but I really don't see them as a pedagogical issue. As cruel as it may sound to resort to this bit of logic (and it's pretty much an absolute, which I usually try to avoid since there are always outstanding exceptions), it's the student's responsibility to show up to class. Given the talent, intelligence, and caring attitudes that I see in many of my fellow GTAs, I simply can't assume that students avoid class because of my coworkers' pedagogical decisions. Hence, most of the time I don't see extended absences as a pedagogical issue. But I digress. . .

Basically, I think creative writing as we normally conceive of it does deserve a place in the composition classroom. I'd like to use Vygotsky's notion of play in the development of children as as a partial basis for my reasoning. Basically, according to Vygotsky, children (and probably adults) engage in play to help gratify desires that can't be immediately fulfilled, in order to relieve tension. This brings up an aspect of control in why people engage in play. Simply put, it's entirely possible that people engage in play because it gives them an opportunity to gain control over themselves and their environment, because the rules of play are created by whoever is playing. I honestly believe that this is why creative writing is such an attractive option for students; it gives them a chance to play a game, for which they create rules and gain control over a simulated environment.

Meanwhile, I know that some students really don't like academic writing (I know that some of you have probably seen this attitude in students as well). They say it bores them, that it's no fun. I can't help but wonder if the students possess a lack of control in academic writing, and that's what makes them so frustrated with it. Think about it: academic writing espouses a stringent devotion to extensive research and citing every piece of information from every source, all of which takes place according to rigid, predefined standards and rules. Some students wind up feeling like they can't rely on or take credit for their own ideas, and that their ideas are only worthwhile when they've been validated by the words and thoughts of others. For students, this can seem like the exact opposite of control. I know that I've often been frustrated with academic writing because I can't just “come out and say” whatever I want to say without finding some theorist to justify my beliefs, and I actually enjoy academic writing for the most part, especially if I get to choose my topic of study (which I do believe is the one possibility for control in academic writing, whether students realize it or not).

I'm not saying that academic writing should be completely replaced by creative writing in ENG 110, because that would be a complete and utter fallacy; simply put, the skills that they learn from practicing academic writing are indispensable. However, I do feel like introducing elements of creative writing into the class, and thus elements of control over their writing and ideas, could possibly benefit the class. I've seen in my own classes that students respond quite strongly to activities that involve “play” in some form. I've introduced different creative writing prompts into my 110 classes on occasion, and most of the time they respond quite strongly to these prompts. In fact, in those moments, they see how writing can be an activity to be enjoyed. While any kind of activity that involves some sort of creative response of the student's part can be beneficial, creative writing is undoubtedly special in how it makes writing play, and therefore “fun.”

Reaction Versus Imitation: Game On!

2008-02-15T14:02:00.000-08:00

There's been some deep, detailed discussion in some of the blogs fairly recently about the use of model essays or papers in teaching writing. In particular, I think of Matt's recent blog entry, which I found quite interesting, about his unwillingness to use model essays in his classes, as well as some of the responses I've seen on his blog, responses that I would definitely classify as passionate. I suppose that I'll put my two cents in on this issue, given that it's one I've struggled with as well. Basically, I agree with the use of model essays in classes, but with a twist.
I think that many GAs have hit on a central problem with using model essays: they don't want their students to just copy the essay without lending visibility to their own writing and thought processes. I can understand that reasoning; in fact, as a creative writer, I sympathize with many attempts to help students retain the individualistic qualities of their work, so long as those individualistic qualities don't violate necessary rules of grammar and syntax (even then, there are a few exceptions). However, writing without models can be pretty frightening, and having some kind of a model can quell at least some portion of that fear, although that relief often comes in the form of imitating the model, unfortunately. I know that fear and uncertainty can be good motivators for quality work, but too frequently students can become so afraid that they don't even try, especially in a class where the majority of them probably wouldn't willingly enroll if they didn't have to. So, I find it necessary to compromise with my personal values and use sample essays.
That being said, I think that the best use of sample essays is when we place our students in situations where they can't imitate the samples, but have to react to them instead. On one of the reading assignments this semester, I had my students read both a sample paper from Composing Ourselves and the actual essay that the sample paper analyzed (in this case, it was "A Letter To America" by Margaret Atwood, from TPOO, and "In Splinters With Atwood" by Joe van Nostrand, from CO). Doing this put my students in the position of reading the sample paper with attention to how well it succeeded in analyzing Atwood's essay. In class, we talked about van Nostrand's various successes and failures in writing his analysis. As a result, it became quite clear to the class that they couldn't expect themselves to succeed by merely imitating van Nostrand. Instead, they realized that they would have to use their own original analysis, as informed by both the prior successes and failures of others, so they wouldn't have to learn from their own failures first.
I find it really interesting that, in order for a sample paper to be truly successful along the guidelines I've suggested, there has to be an element of failure in what's being studied. It's that element/possibility of failure that forces students to react rather than imitate. It's quite strange that the same emotion behind their decision to imitate, the fear of failure, can be behind their decision to react instead, but it's also quite encouraging because it shows that students can be taught how to put their fear to good use. If they get in the habit of reacting, rather than imitating, it can pay them dividends down the road, especially once they go even further beyond mere reaction into creating their own arguments. That issue, however, is for another blog post, perhaps.

Finding Happyland

2008-02-01T14:08:00.000-08:00

I've recently discovered the joys of collaborative learning, as recently as this past Friday (not today, but a week ago). Now, I know that some people might react to that with an "uh, yeah, that's pretty common in ENG 110 classrooms." Hold it, though, because I'm not talking about ENG 110 classes. I'm talking about ENG 215, creative writing. Now, in the creative writing classes that I've had as a student, I don't ever remember doing any writing exercises in tandem with others or working with other people's ideas. It just doesn't seem like a very popular idea, since creative writing is very concerned with a person producing singular ideas, branded by their name. There seems to be a notion that collaborative learning is a form of plagiarism, basically (from what I understand, that's already a huge issue; I won't go into that issue now, although I might do that in a future post). Based on what happened in my class, though, I'm very interested in pursuing this idea at greater length.

Here's what happened: I assigned an exercise called the Character Swap where I had my students create a fully detailed character on their own. Then, I had them pair up, not telling them the nature, or name, of the exercise until I revealed the next stage, swapping characters with their partner. Then, I told them that their objective was to write a three-page scene using the character that their partner created. I'm never going to forget the looks on their faces when I told them to do this. I was actually expecting them to get upset or confused, since many writers are kinda protective of their creations, but instead they responded with excitement and smiles, the kinds that I would normally see on people having fun. Yeah, I definitely wasn't expecting that.

Their direct responses to me have been really interesting. The exercise has been considered by everyone in class as a success, with some students in class explicitly saying that they believed the exercise forced them to be more imaginative with their writing, since they didn't create the character they were using. You know why I assigned the exercise? I thought it would be fun, and I've always wanted to try it out to see what would happen. That's it. I'm just really happy that they're telling me the reasons why the exercise worked; a lot of times, that seems to be the teacher's job.

Now, there are multiple reasons that I'm writing about this exercise. One, I'm just really happy with what I believe is my biggest success as a creative writing professor so far, and I wanted to celebrate it with my friends/co-workers and bring it up as an option for everyone to try out. Two, I wanted to introduce the topic of collaborative learning in creative writing; based on the initial success of the exercise in the eyes of both students and myself, the teacher, I feel like the topic of collaborative learning in creative writing classes should be explored much further.

The third and last reason I bring this up is that I'm wondering why similar experiments don't work in ENG 110. I've tried collaborative exercises in ENG 110 before, and while my students tended to at least appreciate what I was trying to do and got something out of them, they still didn't flash massive smiles when they found out what they were going to do. What kinds of exercises can I use to evoke such a reaction from my ENG 110 students?

My Thoughts About TPOO

2008-02-01T09:50:00.000-08:00

I’ll admit, I’m fairly intrigued by the new essays they’ve added to the new edition of The Presence of Others (which shall be referred to hereafter as TPOO). In particular, I wonder how thought-provoking the essays like “The War against Boys” and “Girls against Boys?” could be to a classroom full of teenagers; they might find them more interesting than other essays in the book. A lot of the essays about divorce and women’s body images might be very interesting too.
That having been said, I’ve never been wild about the edition of TPOO that we’re now using, especially since I discovered that all of the essays were available on the internet for free, and I’m still not wild about the new edition. I honestly feel like the book isn’t particularly well-designed for introductory composition classes; a lot of the material is either too dumbed down for them or goes over their heads. I also don’t feel like the reading selection in TPOO is very useful for teaching some of the assignments that we have our students write.
I think that we need to step back and look at the real objectives of teaching ENG 110 if we’re going to decide what textbook to select for the class. I feel like TPOO would be more useful in a course that revolved around learning about current events and issues and discussing them, but not necessarily writing about them. I also feel like it would be more useful for a creative nonfiction class, perhaps (I’ll leave it up to the nonfiction people to decide that; I’m a fiction person, so I don’t feel like I’m qualified to make that judgment). I feel like a more craft-based book would be better suited to ENG 110, personally. TPOO just doesn’t have a strong enough emphasis on the craft of writing, as far as I’m concerned.

Lies and Exaggerations

2008-01-23T13:52:00.000-08:00

The most interesting topic that has come up for me, in the past two weeks of preparing students to write the memoir assignment, is the role of exaggeration in composition. This came up while I was teaching the short memoir "Cyclops" by David Sedaris. We were discussing the work as a class unit, with me bringing up questions related to the text and having students answer them, with the goal that their answers would help them figure out what they want to write. As anyone who has read the piece knows, one of the weirdest and most memorable parts of the memoir is when a dead cat talks to Sedaris' mom in an effort to guilt-trip her (as well as Sedaris by proxy, of course). My students were kinda confused by this, since they were under the impression that memoirs had to be entirely factual. The interesting thing is that my students last semester had the same confusion and impressions of nonfiction writing as well. Basically, this seems to be a pretty big topic, at least among composition students.
I'm just wondering what everyone thinks about the role exaggeration has or should play in memoir writing. On the one hand, the idea of the memoir is geared towards self-reflection, and the logic of many would dictate that this requires nothing but real-life events, a "purity" of nonfiction if you will. On the other hand, it's not like fictional works or nonfictional works with some exaggerated elements, such as Sedaris', can't host some sort of self-reflection. As a fiction writer, I know this firsthand. Ultimately, I think, the discretion is in the hands of the students. Besides, if the students didn't tell us that their memoirs were taken straight from reality, how would we know in the first place? How do we know they aren't fabricated to begin with? Can nonfiction composition ever be "pure," especially when personal accounts are involved? I just feel like there's a potential to make too many assumptions here.